Turn Left At Greenland

This map may not be entirely accurate

It’s weird we’re talking about our nation taking possession of Greenland. It’s even weirder we’re talking about taking it by force. It’s not a joke. Donald Trump is serious. He even sent Donald Trump Jr. there to make a point about taking the territory, unless he hoped Jr. wouldn’t come back. Unfortunately for our nation, he did.

Remember during the campaign when Trump promised “no more wars?” Now, he’s talking about starting three of them. He wants to take Greenland, which is a territory of Denmark.

Today, Sniffy Jr. shared a poll on X/Twitter showing that a high majority of Greenlanders wanted independence. What dumbass Jr. didn’t share is that the poll was conducted in 2019. I’m sure the numbers are close to that today, but if you want to cite a poll for your argument, you need one a little more recent than seven years ago. He also didn’t share that the question was “Can you envision Greenland being independent from Denmark?”. The poll, conducted by the University of Copenhagen, didn’t even ask if they wanted independence, just if they could see it in the future. It should also be noted that the poll didn’t ask if they wanted to become a territory of the United States.

If we’re going to use old polls, one from 2017 showed that 78 percent of Greenlanders oppose independence if it means a lower standard of living. Hey, Greenlanders, look at the standard of living in Puerto Rico.

Denmark is a member of NATO. The treaty is a commitment that every NATO nation will come to the defense of any other member who is attacked. It’s why Putin invaded Ukraine after Trump was defeated by Joe Biden in 2020. Putin believed Trump would destroy NATO. When Trump was ousted, Putin felt NATO was here for good and invaded Ukraine before Ukraine could apply for membership in NATO. That’s why it pisses me off when MAGAts say Putin never invaded while Trump was president. They ignore that Putin couldn’t as it would have been counterproductive to Trump’s attempt to destroy NATO. After Putin did invade Ukraine, two more nations joined the alliance, Finland and Sweden, the latter taking a neutral stance on all wars since 1814.

If Trump invades Greenland, every nation in NATO will be bound to defend Denmark’s territory, even Sweden….hell, even Canada. Trump would start a war with 31 nations, our own allies, by attacking Greenland. Has anyone told Trump this? Trump’s desire to steal Greenland is a new level of stupid that should be named after him. We could call it “Trump Stupid.”

Examples of Trump Stupid would be peeing on a car battery, having unprotected sex with one of Trump’s ex-girlfriends, giving Mike Tyson a wedgie, allowing your daughter to date Matt Gaetz, appointing RFK Jr. as director of Health and Human Services, staring into an eclipse, stating publicly that what you and your daughter have in common is sex, or voting for Donald Trump. Note that nearly half our nation is Trump Stupid enough to vote for Trump twice.

Trump is willing to start a war with 31 nations for a piece of property that has fewer people than Oshkosh, Wisconsin.

Trump is also looking at Canada becoming our 51st state. Canada is a nation of 33 million people which would make it our second-largest state (replacing Texas and eliminating them from bragging about how big they are, ignoring Alaska since it became a state in 1959) and would add around 50 new seats to the House of Representatives. This would give the Democratic Party control of Congress. Please don’t tell Trump that.

Good luck in making Canadians proud U.S. citizens. There are Quebecers who don’t even like being Canadians. Calling a Quebecer an American is akin to calling a Scot British. I learned about that one for myself.

Trump wants to take back the Panama Canal which is owned by Panama. We returned it to them and there’s a treaty for that. As we learned during the first Trump regime, he doesn’t care about treaties. Panama is not going to return the canal to us, so Trump is talking about taking it by force, making him the second Republican president (sic) to invade that country

Trump is also talking about invading Mexico to destroy drug cartels. That would violate Mexico’s sovereignty. An invasion of Mexico would be like an invasion of Afghanistan in that we’d be there for two decades at minimum. It would be a huge mess for us to clean up, even decades after Trump is gone. Get that smile off your face.

Trump wanting to rename the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America is just him being belligerent. If he wanted it to be representative of the two continents (in case you’re a Republican, North America and South America), he’d propose calling it the Gulf of The Americas.

The Gulf has carried the name Gulf of Mexico since 1607, which is older than the United States. Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum said North America should be renamed "América Mexicana," or "Mexican America," because a founding document dating from 1814 that preceded Mexico's constitution referred to it that way. Someone tell Trump. I think “Mexican America” has a nice ring to it.

What happens if the United States changes the name of the Gulf through legislation? Only the United States would recognize it and turn into a situation like the Sea of Japan. It’s referred to as the “Sea of Japan” in Japan and the West while it’s referred to as the “Whale Sea” in China. Russia calls it the “Japanese Sea,” South Korea calls it the “East Sea,” and North Korea named it the “East Sea of Korea.” There’s a lot of contention over this as the Koreas claim the name “Sea of Japan” didn’t become accepted internationally until they were under occupation by Japan.

We can change the name of the Gulf of Mexico or any other geographic location we want, but other nations are not required to follow our lead.

If Mexico changes the name of the Gulf to the Gulf of Tiny-Finger Fuhrer, we don’t have to play along but I might anyway.

Fun fact: The Greenland shark can live up to 250-500 years. They don’t become sexually mature until they’re around 150 and their gestation lasts from eight to 18 years. My question is, What do they do with themselves for those first 150 years?

Creative note: I wrote this cartoon yesterday, and then I wrote the polar bear cartoon. I decided to go with the Polar Bear first because I had to finish up the cartoon for the FXBG Advance, and the bear cartoon would be quicker to draw. Drawing all the lettering and spending five hours on this cartoon was the better choice for today’s work assignment.

Drawn in 30 seconds:

Timelapse:

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