Trump Loves Hate

A message of love in Spanish tightens Trump's sphincter

If you believe that a message of love and unity is in opposition to everything you stand for, and you have to fight it with every fiber of your being, then you are either Darth Sidious, Hitler, or Donald Trump.

Why would you take a message that says, "The Only Thing More Powerful Than Hate is Love" as something hostile and political? Because it's in Spanish and everything you're about is hate?

Last night after the Super Bowl, Trump posted to social media, "The Super Bowl Halftime Show is absolutely terrible, one of the worst, EVER! It makes no sense, is an affront to the Greatness of America, and doesn’t represent our standards of Success, Creativity, or Excellence. Nobody understands a word this guy is saying, and the dancing is disgusting, especially for young children that are watching from throughout the U.S.A., and all over the World."

Remember, this is the guy who talked about his penis size during a debate, Arnold Powers’s penis during a rally, and once talked about sex yacht parties at the Boy Scout Jamboree. And don't forget, “grab them by the pussy.”

Trump continued, "This ‘Show’ is just a ‘slap in the face’ to our Country, which is setting new standards and records every single day — including the Best Stock Market and 401(k)s in History! There is nothing inspirational about this mess of a Halftime Show and watch, it will get great reviews from the Fake News Media, because they haven’t got a clue of what is going on in the REAL WORLD — And, by the way, the NFL should immediately replace its ridiculous new Kickoff Rule. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!"

So, how is peace, love, and unity a “slap in the face to our country,” and what does any of that have to do with the NFL's kickoff rule?

Turning point offered an alternative to the Super Bowl halftime show, featuring Kid Rock, a performer who fancies himself as a pimp. White House spokesgoon Karoline Leavitt said Trump would be watching the "All-American" halftime show. "I think the president would much prefer a Kid Rock performance over Bad Bunny. I must say that," Leavitt told reporters at Thursday's White House press briefing.

Except Donald Trump did not watch the “All-American halftime show.” He watched Bad Bunny. I mean, how else could he bitch about it? Maybe he went back later to watch the Kid Rock performance, but I doubt it unless his taste is really that bad.

And on that note, a lot of MAGAts we're talking about how much Bad Bunny sucks, who they had never listened to before. But if you think Bad Bunny sucks, but Kid Rock rocks, you're just exposing yourself for having shitty taste in music. Others performing on the Kid Rock halftime show were country musicians Brantley Gilbert, Gabby Barrett, and Lee Brice. I'm a 59-year-old white guy, and I don't know who any of those people are. I think I read somewhere that dick pic aficionado who has a passion for stealing welfare funds, Brett Favre, also made an appearance.

And apparently, Donald Trump was not alone in watching Bad Bunny as it broke ratings records, with the number so far being at 135 million. The first reports of Kid Rock's performance said he had about 4 million hits on YouTube, with Turning Point later claiming it was 6 million. But you can't believe anything a MAGAat says.

As for the xenophobes who are complaining that Bad Bunny's entire performance was in Spanish, what was the name of Kid Rock's biggest hit? Bawitdaba? I would ask for that song is about, but I think it's about pimping. Kid Rock has another song titled Cool Daddy Cool, with the lyrics, “Young ladies, young ladies, I like ’em underage, see some say that’s statutory (but I say that’s mandatory).” How wholesome.

I don't understand why people are threatened by Spanish. I don't think people speaking in other languages hurts us, but for some reason, Republicans believe it threatens their very existence. Of course, these are the same idiots who believe in the Great Replacement Theory, so maybe they do believe Spanish threatens their existence. But it wouldn't have mattered if Bad Bunny had sung the entire halftime in English because Republicans wouldn't have listened to his message anyway.

While most of America was probably drinking beer and eating Brats and chicken wings, this was my Super Bowl salad. I also had turkey chili, but I forgot to take a photo of it.

Drawn in 30 seconds.

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