Rash To Judgment

That's never going to heal if you don't stop picking at it

So what's up with that weird rash on Donald Trump's neck? When asked, the White House said they're putting some cream on it and basically to stop asking questions about it.

Since Trump has returned to the White House, there has been weird bruising on his hands, which he attributes to taking aspirin, hitting his hand on a table, and shaking hands too much. If the White House would just tell visitors that Trump is a fragile little flower, they would probably be more than happy not to have to touch him.

In addition to all the weird bruises, Trump's ankles have shown a huge thickness, which is commonly referred to as cankles. Back in 2016, Republicans would make fun of Hillary Clinton and claimed that she had cankles, but as with most things with Republicans and the Trump administration, any accusation is a projection. Remember when they accused her of endangering classified information with her server, and then Trump stole boxes of classified information to store next to his toilet at MAGA-Lardo?

In the past, Trump has visited Walter Reed Hospital without the White House giving us any information about it. One time, they told us he was taking a physical that was split between trips. Donald Trump has also failed to explain his mental acuity tests. Remember “person, woman, man, camera, TV.” Did I get those in the right order?

Remember when Trump declared it nothing short of “amazing” that he did so well on the test that, among other things, required him to identify an elephant?

Back when Donald Trump was running for president in 2016, he had his physician write a letter attesting that Donald Trump, if elected, would be the healthiest president in American history.

When Trump was in college, a doctor who was a tenant to his father helped Trump get five deferments by telling draft boards that he had bone spurs. Donald Trump never did anything to get rid of the bone spurs, but they haven't stopped him from playing golf every weekend. It's a good thing we don't have the draft today, or Barron may need the same doctor.

White House physician, Dr. Sean Barbabella, said Trump was using ​a common cream as "a preventative skin treatment."

"The President is using this treatment for one week, and the redness is expected to last for a few weeks," Barbabella said.

That explanation is not an explanation, as it doesn't tell us what cream he is using or why he needs it.

As with his hand bruises, Donald Trump is covering his neck rash with makeup.

How much do you want to bet that Trump hired that doctor because he thought he was going to get Barbarella?

Stroke update: A new reader messaged me on Facebook a few days ago and told me she just found out about my stroke, and asked me how bad it was. Honestly, I don't want to have one-on-one conversations about my stroke. It's not that I don't like talking about it, and I don't mind, but it’s that it's a conversation I have to repeat over and over and over again if I'm going to talk to people one-on-one about it. I'd rather just post updates here from time to time. I should probably just send them links to my first post about the stroke that I made back in October.

And on that note, I ran into someone last night who I hadn't seen in a while, and he had the same question, “How bad was it?” I left that at, “well, I am out and about now.” We were also on a sidewalk in the cold, and I did not want to hold him up as he was entering a wine bar. I did not want to stop him from getting his wine on.

I check my blood pressure at least twice a day, usually first thing in the morning, at lunch, and at night. It's been consistently good over the past week, as you can see here.

As I mentioned, I was out last night for a friend's birthday, and we hit up an Italian restaurant. I have become that person who asks waitresses pain-in-the-butt questions, like, “How much sugar is in this dish?” and “Can I have it without any salt?” I had salmon with mushrooms, artichoke, shrimp, and asparagus, and it came with a free dessert that I could not partake in, but the cheesecake I passed over looked good. My salmon was on top of a bed of angel hair pasta that I didn't eat. I miss pasta.

Then went to a wine bar where I had water and nibbled on some cheese. I was home by 9 PM. I had a really good time seeing friends, but I was excited to come home. Now, I'm always excited to come home when I go out.

My buddy Chris dropped me off at the front of the restaurant and later at the wine bar (he would park and catch up with me), and it was a little chilly. When it gets cold, my right side wants to lock up. This is where I still have a lot of numbness. This kind of inhibits walking, doing anything with my right hand, and talking, as the numbness is still on the right side of my face.

I've also had good numbers with my glucose this week, and I was happy that it continued this morning after eating out last night.

I usually have an apple with lunch, and I have some sugar-free treats, but I don't go crazy with them. I might have one a day. I have some sugar-free popsicles, fudgesicles, and pudding.

I'm still self-rehabbing at home, but honestly, I have to be much better about it.

Creative note: One of my Facebook friends posted a joke a few days ago about the weird rash on Trump's neck, and I wrote that it is probably from a plant only found on Epstein Island. Then I thought, “That might make a good cartoon.”

Drawn in 30 seconds:

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Signed prints and books: I cannot take orders for signed prints or for my books at this time. So please do not send me money or place orders for them until further notice. Because of the stroke, it is an ordeal for me to get to the post office, so we’re gonna hold up until I’m fully capable of doing so. Thank you for your understanding.

Merch: Did you know there’s a Claytoonz store? My cartoons are printed on mugs, clothing, caps, and even a Peezy T-shirt. If you ever want a specific cartoon on some merch, let me know, and I’ll add it.