Meow

It's time to scoop this litter box

In J.D. Vance’s eyes, it’s better to have five kids from three women you cheated on than to be a childless woman.

Republicans see women as baby factories, and if they have a job that’s not waiting on a man instead of being home barefoot in the kitchen, then they’re a DEI hire.

In a 2021 interview with Tucker Carlson, Trump’s new hairy running mate, J.D. Vance, who may or may not have fucked a couch, theorized that childless women are obsessed with their careers and hate women who have children. He said people who don’t have children don’t have a “direct stake” in the future of our nation.

Vance told Tucker in this interview, “We are effectively run in this country … by a bunch of childless cat ladies who are miserable at their own lives and the choices that they’ve made, and so they wanna make the rest of the country miserable, too. It's just a basic fact. You look at Kamala Harris, Pete Buttigieg, AOC (Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez), the entire future of the Democrats is controlled by people without children."

I think he’s confused. People who own cats don’t hate themselves. Cats hate the people who own them…and love them, then hate them, then love them, etc, etc. Cats are mind-fucking terrorists.

Here’s a basic fact, J.D. You wouldn’t know a basic fact if you were hit square in the face with one while your head was up Donald Trump’s ass. Another basic fact is that Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg is NOT a lady and he has children. I bet you oppose that too.

Adopting children is having children. Being a stepparent is having children. I have an adopted niece and an adopted nephew in my family and I never think of them as if they’re not as legitimately part of this family as those who were born into it. I usually forget they’re adopted.

As I said, being a stepparent is being a parent and Vice President Kamala Harris has two. She’s a real parent while J.D. Vance is a fake hillbilly.

Now dig this: In a 2022 podcast, Vance said he’d he would "like abortion to be illegal nationally." Now, since Trump says it should be decided by states instead of yee-haw fucks in the Senate, like Senator J.D. Vance, Vance has adopted Trump’s position.

Vance dropped his position on abortion just as easily as he dropped his position that Trump is America’s Hitler.

Vance said in the podcast,” Let’s say Roe vs. Wade is overruled. Ohio bans abortion, in 2022 or let’s say 2024. And then, you know, every day George Soros sends a 747 to Columbus to load up disproportionately black women to get them to go have abortions in California. And of course, the left will celebrate this as a victory for diversity.”

Ya gotta admit, that’s impressive. In one sentence, Vance was able to base his position on a racist sexist anti-semitic hypothetical lie. He really is perfect for Donald Trump.

Note that J.D. wants forced abortions to be mandated nationally while denying women who can’t get pregnant the right to have a child. How do you do that dance? You put your right foot in, you pull your right foot out, you stick head up Trump’s ass and you shake it all about? That dance has to be harder than playing Twister with a contortionist but then again, J.D. is a bit of a contortionist himself.

J.D. Vance is against IVF, In Vitro Fertilization. In Alabama, the state Supreme Court thinks eggs removed from ovaries for In Vitro Fertilization are human life. J.D. probably thinks they came from Satan’s ovaries, which would be a great name for a Satanic punk band. It’s at least better than The Monkey Nuts. Keep reading.

Anyone in the United States Senate or ever run for office has career ambitions. Here, J.D. is attacking women for having the same ambitions he has. Someone needs to inform J.D. Vance there are childless Republican women in Congress. Perhaps he believes Susan Collins, Kat Cammack, Harriet M. Hageman, Nicole Malliotakis, and Celeste Maloy are selfish career-obsessed cat ladies.

I research for this blog. Ask Gary Varvel how many kids Harriet Hageman has.

Not only did J.D. Vance attack women who don’t have kids (and some who do), he attempted to insult them by calling them “cat ladies.” This is extremely sexist of the guy, even to the women who do have cats. It’s an age-old sexist trope that J.D. was eager to use because it’s exactly the kind of crap a Republican finds funny. The only person funny for being a cat lady is the Crazy Cat Lady on The Simpsons who throws cats at people.

Off-topic, but while I was locked out of my apartment the week before last, I saw a silhouette of a lady approaching me, it reminded me of The Simpsons’ Crazy Cat Lady… so I turned around and hid in the apartment’s laundry room until she passed by. She scared me.

But J.D. doesn’t care about cats or any other animals. He invested at least $100,000 into a biotech firm that conducts live experiments on animals that kill them or burn monkey testicles. Maybe J.D. is just jealous of the monkeys because he doesn’t have balls.

When I was finished drawing this cartoon, I thought I needed to put a big turd in the litter box and then I realized, I already did.

The Streak: Have you heard about The Streak? I unintentionally started a streak of consecutive days without taking a day off. The streak is at GoComics where for over seven years, there hasn’t been a day without a brand-new cartoon from me. I believe I’m the only political cartoonist who’s ever done this. GoComics ran a piece about it when it hit five years and a couple of months ago, The Daily Cartoonist published an article announcing the streak has now reached seven years. D.D. Degg (look! You got a shout-out) at The Daily Cartoonist is doing a better job of keeping up with The Streak than I am because last week, he reported that my streak of not taking days off has surpassed Cal Ripken’s. I have now gone past 2,632 days without taking a day off. A friend sent me a shirt with the number eight on it (Ripken’s number). That’s kinda cool.

Honestly, I have taken a day off here and there but only when I was too far ahead with cartoons. So how many cartoons do I draw a week? I draw eight, seven for my newspaper clients, my website, and now my Substack, and one for the Fredericksburg Advance. I did draw nine until CNN shitcanned me.

The Streak will not last forever. I may get sick, hit by a meteor, get hit by a car…AGAIN, get stranded in a WiFi dead zone for 24 hours, an ex-girlfriend may show up with a baseball bat, I might just say, “Fuck this streak. I’m tired,” or I get a cat.

Here’s today’s 30-second video of the cartoon being drawn. I’m using the one from TikTok because it’s hilarious with the music. Click and find out.

Here’s the longer video with the voiceover.

Thank you: So many of you who have become paid subscribers have included a message with your purchase and I haven’t replied to most of you. I don’t want to be an ingrate and each of you does deserve a direct reply from me, and I’m usually pretty good at that. I just haven’t been good at it this time. The six or seven people who’ve been contributing to support my work over the years through PayPal can vouch for that.

I am extremely grateful for each and every single one of you who has become a subscriber, especially those who have become paid subscribers. Just know that I am not taking anyone for granted. Soon, while not taking a day off, I will send each paid subscriber a personal thanks and say, “You rock!”

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon at Claytoonz is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I have one copy and you can order it, signed by me, for $45.00. You can pay through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Knee-Deep In Mississippi: There are only ten copies left of my first book, published in 1997. These can be purchased for $40.00

Tip Jar: If you want to support the cartoonist, please donate through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.