Kristy's Security Blankie

She is a blockhead

Writing an apology in the byline to the creator of a cartoon character we are borrowing for our own cartoon is a tradition in my industry, but with this one, I feel like I really do owe Charles Schulz an apology. Poor Linus did not deserve this.

I think I mentioned previously that my first love was Snoopy. The first comic I was a fan of was Peanuts. While I wanted to be Snoopy, I was probably Linus. We had a few things in common. We were both smart, insecure, a little nerdy, liked to read, and had crabby, older sisters who pushed us around. And while Linus believed in the Great Pumpkin, I know there is a Great Pumpkin, but I don't believe in him. I know the Great Pumpkin is a conman, and he's not out to do anything good for anyone except for himself. He is definitely not bringing candy to all the good boys and girls of the world. He's bringing tax cuts and special privileges to all of the billionaire boys and girls of the world, just so long as they bribe him.

Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem believes in the Great Pumpkin, but what I wonder is why the Great Pumpkin believes in her. Noem seems on track to out-inept Attorney General Pam Bondi, if that is possible. There are betting pools throughout Washington DC of how long before the Great Pumpkin fires Kristi Noem.

There are several messed-up stories right now about Noem that it’s hard to keep track of them, from her jealousy of Tom Homan for being on TV more than her, to her demanding that DHS employees submit to polygraph tests, to her using a private jet that has a bedroom in it, to her wanting to use DHS to fight election fraud, to border patrol shooting down Valentine's Day balloons and closing an airport because of it, to her advisor Corey Lewandowski requesting a gun and a badge, to rumors of her boinking Lewandowski (they are both married to other people), but the one we are going to focus on today is the one about her blankie.

According to The Wall Street Journal in a story published Thursday night, a maintenance issue on one of her planes (I'm not sure if it was the one with the bedroom or not), had forced her to land and deboard to another aircraft. The sudden switch meant that Noem’s favorite blankie was left on the first aircraft. For this, she blamed the pilot because it's always the pilot’s responsibility to go behind you and pick up your bullshit (they probably covered that on the second day of flight school), so Corey Lewandowski fired the pilot and told him to take a commercial aircraft home when they reached their destination.

But wait. Kristy had to quickly turn around and rehire the pilot because Noem and Lewandowski, those two Einsteins, eventually realized that you can't fly an airplane without a pilot. I wonder how long they were sitting on that aircraft waiting for it to take off.

The Pilot should have flown her back to South Dakota and left her there.

Something tells me I'm going to be drawing more cartoons about Kristy Noem and Corey Lewandowski in the very near future.

Creative note: This cartoon was almost too simple, but that's not always a bad thing. Because it was so simple, I drew it three times before I was somewhat satisfied with it

I did not set out to draw a simple cartoon today, but doing so really worked out for me. I have a friend who I have not seen in over a decade coming to town to visit me today, and I'm going to meet her son, who came into this world after the last time I saw her. So it helps that I have the stress of drawing a cartoon and writing a blog out of the way.

Drawn in 30 seconds.

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