I See Stupid People

There should be a test

There should be a test before seeking public office. I understand there’s on-the-job training, but this isn’t Taco Bell.

Even before Kristi Noem was the Director of Homeland Security, she was a governor. No governor in this nation should be as ignorant of the Constitution as Noem displayed yesterday. Don’t we already have too many Jeff Sessions in government? Even college football coaches should know what the three branches are.

Even at Taco Bell, I’m sure you’d eventually get shit-canned if you couldn’t keep track of the difference between a Chalupa and a Gordita. Fuck. Now I want some Taco Bell. Anywhos…

Democratic New Hampshire Senator Maggie Hassan is considered one of the mildest members of the U.S. Senate. I bet at least a quarter of my blog followers couldn’t name what state she represented until they read the previous sentence. Honestly, I might have fumbled it. Despite being one of the nicest in the Senate, Hassan still scorched Kristi Noem during a hearing yesterday. And Hassan wasn’t even trying. It’s Noem’s fault for not knowing her shit.

Maybe instead of doing photo-ops in front of a Salvadoran prison while wearing a $60,000 Rolex or doing those $200 million taxpayer-funded commercials of her saying, “Thank you, President Trump,” Noem should study up on the Constitution.

Hassan asked Noem a question a simple question. It wasn’t like she asked something difficult, like how many women have accused Donald Trump of rape and sexual assault. You don’t have to be a genius to know the answer either. Hassan didn’t hit her with a Navier-Stokes equation.

The question was: What is habeas corpus? Her answer was more embarrassing than that time Katie Porter asked Ben Carson about REO rates, and he thought she was talking about Oreo cookies. Dammit. Now I want some Oreos.

Noem’s reply was, “Habeas corpus is a constitutional right that the president has to be able to remove people from this country.”

Wrong. Not even close. It’s not even a nice try. If you asked this question as a part of a bar bet, you’d probably get a better answer and still win a beer. Hassan should have made this a bar bet, because at least she would have won a beer. My go-to question in a bar bet is: Name the only American president who was never elected.

Noem got her bachelor's degree by taking online courses and earning college intern credits from her position as a member of Congress. That’s still better than Sarah Palin.

They say there are no stupid questions, but there are some real dumbass answers. Kristi Noem is a fucking moron.

Habeas corpus is a bedrock constitutional legal principle that safeguards individuals from unlawful imprisonment by enabling them to petition the court to review the legality of their detention. Or the short version, it’s the right to due process. That’s an acceptable answer. It’s an easer answer, and it’s definitely isn’t that Donald Trump doesn’t get to do whatever the fuck he wants.

Noem thought the answer was specific about deportations. It’s not.

After explaining habeas corpus to Noem, Hassan asked her if she supported it. Noem answered wrong again.

Noem said, “Yes, I support habeas corpus,” but she couldn’t stop there. She went on to say, “I also recognize that the President of the United States has the authority under the Constitution to decide if it should be suspended or not.”

Wrong again, Dumbo. That doesn’t even make sense if she believed in her first answer. She thought habeas corpus was the right of the president to deport people, and the Constitution gave him the right to suspend that right. What? It’s not surprising she’s dumb enough to carry $3,000 in her purse, and then to have it stolen right from under her in a cheeseburger restaurant. Shit. Now I want a cheeseburger. Anyways.

Article I, Section 9 of the U.S. Constitution prohibits the suspension of habeas corpus “unless when in Cases of Rebellion or Invasion the public Safety may require it.” That’s not happening. And, the president needs the approval of Congress to suspend habeas corpus.

Trump is violating due process, he’s ignoring court orders, there was another ruling today that he’s violating court orders, he has placed a giant image of his face in the capital which surprises me that there hasn’t been a sudden rash of car crashes in the city, he’s taking bribes, and Kristi Noem is a puppy killer.

I believe that if you gave a citizenship test to assholes like Trump, JD Vance, Stephen Miller, Marco Rubio, Kristi Noem, or any of the other idiots in this regime, they would all flunk.

If you have to take a test to be a citizen of this nation, then there should be a test for people who want to represent the citizens of this nation.

These tests are not difficult unless you’re a MAGAt dumbass.

Creative note: I’m kinda going through a fit this week with ideas. No, it’s not writer’s block, but too many subjects. I have several subjects I believe are nearly equal in importance, but I don’t have enough days. And no, I don’t want to draw several cartoons a day. When you draw too many cartoons a day, they will start to look like you drew too many. I can burn out.

I went with this one today because it’s timely, funny, I really liked it, and I’ll take almost any opportunity not to draw Trump.

I used five layers in Procreate to draw this cartoon. I hate using lots of layers while other cartoonists love them.

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