Getting Batty with the Fifth

Fauci pleads the fifth 111 times

After making Dr. Anthony Fauci's diary public, Senator Rand Paul called him to testify before the Homeland Security Committee today, which is a panel dominated by hostile conspiracy theory-peddling Republicans who accused him of causing the coronavirus pandemic and enriching himself while Americans died. The panel was Republican theater, where they hoped to turn Dr. Fauci into chum for the red meat-eating base. Dr. Fauci did not play along.

You cannot blame Dr. Fauci for not cooperating with the Republican Party, where the chairman of the committee, Senator Paul, has stated that his goal is to put Dr. Fauci “behind bars.”

“On the advice of counsel, I respectfully decline to answer based upon my rights under the Fifth Amendment to the Constitution,” Fauci repeated 111 times during a nearly three-hour hearing before the Senate Homeland Security Committee.

In a brief opening statement, Dr. Fauci noted that he had testified before Congress more than 200 times during the 38 years he ran the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, including during the COVID pandemic.

“Over that period, I proved that I believe in and respect the value of legitimate congressional oversight,” he said.

“However,” Dr. Fauci added, “given Senator Paul’s obvious obsession with calling for my prosecution, his repeated slanderous comments about me, and recently his publicly releasing my unredacted personal diary aimed at embarrassing and intimidating me, the only conclusion I can reach is that the sole reason he is calling me before this committee is to get me to say something that could vindicate his repeated public pledges that I end up, in his words, ‘behind bars.’”

Shortly after Dr. Fauci invoked his Fifth Amendment rights, Senator Paul had his lawyer removed from the room. This was probably illegal, yet Paul wants to send it to a vote next week on recommending criminal charges against Fauci for not cooperating with his panel.

Dr. Fauci received a pre-emptive pardon from President Biden, but the pardon protects him only from federal prosecution for actions he took through the date it was issued, Jan. 19, 2025.

Paul told Dr. Fauci that he “can’t have it both ways,” by refusing to testify while under the pardon’s protection. But legal experts said the pardon would not protect Dr. Fauci from being accused of lying under oath. Dr. Fauci has never committed a crime, but that won't stop Republicans from trying to prosecute him, and a presidential pardon does not give him immunity from state prosecutions, specifically in red states. Rand Paul and Republicans are now trying to imprison Dr. Fauci for exercising his constitutional right not to answer their dumbass questions.

Refusing to answer questions from Republican fucknuts was the smart move on Fauci's part.

Senator Josh Hawley tried to bait Fauci by asking him the color of his tie, the day of the week, and the color of the carpet, though Fauci would not bite. Out of anger, Hawley then accused Dr. Fauci of being “a megalomaniac and a liar.” Hawley then accused him of secretly profiting from his public service by applying for “cash prizes totaling over a million dollars.

Fauci was disciplined not to answer the simple and seemingly harmless questions. But if he had answered and told the room the color of his tie, then Republicans could have claimed he was hiding something by refusing to answer the more direct questions. Refusing to answer every question, he refused to play along with the Republican theater. Basically, Fauci refused to feed the trolls.

You've seen the trolls. They're all over the internet, and usually they just want attention. I get them on Facebook and GoComics mostly. I'm not great at ignoring them, but it is best not to feed the trolls because it just makes them want more. Typically, trolls are morons whose IQs are way lower than those they are trolling.

And trolling is what the Republicans did.

“Frankly, the American people deserve an apology,” Paul said in his opening statement. He accused Dr. Fauci of saying “one thing in public, and another in private.” Senator Rick Scott claimed that Fauci alone was responsible for COVID lockdowns, deaths, vaccine injuries and Americans’ loss of trust in public health.

“The haphazard information you released and pushed on the American people with little research is appalling,” Scott said, adding, “You forced loved ones to die alone, destroyed the federal government’s credibility when it comes to public health.”

Dr. Fauci did not enact any laws and could only advise. After the hearing, Donald Trump bragged that he stopped taking Dr. Fauci's advice. That's probably how Trump caught COVID, as I'm sure Dr. Fauci advised him to wear a face mask and not to conduct super spreader events at the White House.

So how did Rand Paul obtain Dr. Fauci's diary? Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. gave it to him. Kennedy claimed that the pages were “not personal journals,” but rather “government records created on a government computer by a federal employee during one of the most consequential public health emergencies in history.”

In 2021, Kennedy published a book titled “The Real Anthony Fauci,” which accused Fauci of colluding with Bill Gates. Naturally, Kennedy promoted the book on social media after the hearing. Trolls are going to troll. Grifters are going to grift.

Republicans, Fox News, and trolls are now claiming that Fauci invoked his Fifth Amendment rights because he is hiding something. Donald Trump once claimed that anyone who invokes their Fifth Amendment rights is hiding something. When the New York Attorney General questioned Donald Trump about his business practices, he invoked his Fifth Amendment rights over 440 times. Eric Trump invoked them over 500 times.

Speaking of trolls, at this point, this cartoon has over 80 comments on my Facebook page. I haven't counted how many times the R word has been dropped. I look forward to the ruckus it will cause tomorrow on GoComics.

Creative note: Before I sent this cartoon to Laura to proofread, I wasn't sure that it worked. I thought it was funny, but I wasn't sure if it made a strong point. But Laura assured me that it does, and I trust her. I think she's right because so far, in addition to a shit-ton of angry comments from MAGA trolls, it has over 1,000 reactions on social media.

I'm not done with this subject.

Drawn in 30 seconds:

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