Fugly Passport

Quick! Renew your passport before they start putting Trump's photo on them!

You got a new blog yesterday, but you didn't get a new cartoon. Did you miss me?

From the Department of I-think-I'm-going-to-throw-up comes news that the State Department is going to issue passports featuring Donald Trump's face. It's not even his smiling face, either, as he's grimacing in the photo, much like his mug shot.

Do the heads of all these agencies that're putting Trump's face, name, and signature on everything come up with this shit on their own, or is it ordered from the White House? Either way, everyone in the Trump administration is a sick sycophant. Why do they want us to look like North Korea? Why?

But yes, you heard correctly. They are going to put Trump's face on American passports. If you're like me, you worry that you won't have a choice and that Trump's face will be placed right next to your cheery mug, which would be sure to draw scorn as you go through customs and immigration while traveling internationally. Don't we have enough to apologize for while traveling as Americans?

It's bad enough that we have the obnoxious, dirty American perception going for us as it is, and to the point that many of us pretend that we are Canadians while traveling (except in Canada, you won't get away with it), but do we have to make it worse? There are a lot of people and other nations that do not like Americans, and Donald Trump is only making it worse.

As soon as an official at passport control greets me after I land in a foreign country, I don't want to have to apologize when they open my passport. I don't want to have to say, “I am so, so sorry. What can I do about it? Please don't kick me in the goober. Can I stay here, please?” I tried that in London, and they said no.

Fortunately, for me, I have about eight years left before I have to renew my passport. We should be out of this smooth-brained dicKtatorship for knuckle-dragging mouth-breathing yokels and fucknuts by then, right?

But I have good news for all of us, and that is putting Trump's photo on. Your passport is not required, at least not yet.

They are putting Trump's photo on passports in honor of America's 250th anniversary. They will also include his signature and the Declaration of Independence, which I'm sure he still hasn't read yet.

I would think that if you were going to put the face of an American president on the passport to honor our 250th anniversary, it would be George Washington, not HairHitler. If they wanted to put a traitor on our passports, they could've just gone with Jefferson Davis.

A spokegoon from the regime said, "These passports will feature customized artwork and enhanced imagery while maintaining the same security features that make the U.S. passport the most secure document in the world.” It will also be the ugliest passport in the world. All the other nations will be laughing at us. Never mind, they already are. Those who are not laughing at us are taking pity on us.

The good news is that the “anniversary” passports will be available only in person at the Washington Passport Agency for American citizens applying for a new identification document, while supplies last, and there are only 25,000 to 30,000 of them.

But I think they're going for the wrong audience with these passports. I don't think MAGAts are big on traveling the world. They're not all that excited about visiting places where they have free speech, care about the environment, don't want a leader controlled by Putin, talk funny, and don't supersize everything.

But are you sure you don't want Donald Trump's picture on your passport? How can you resist this face?

When customs officials in other nations open your passport, they will be greeted with an image that says America hates you.

Will you be fined if you draw a mustache in your passport?

Also, I do believe the International Criminal Court will issue an arrest warrant for Donald Trump in the future.

Creative note: it took me a while to think of today's idea, which I finally got around noon. I finished the lettering around 1:30 PM, and I sent it to Laura and Hilary to proofread. Then I had lunch, which was a tuna sandwich on wheat with an apple on the side. Naturally, I thought of a better way to do that cartoon in the late afternoon.

While the first version was good, I knew the second version was much better. I knew it was worth finishing the cartoon at an even later time today, and not getting in a nap. I put both video files together, and you can see them ideas come together in the video below.

Drawn in 59 seconds:

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