Dirty Little Couch Secret

Don't ask, don't hump

New rule: Rapists don’t have the right to make sex jokes about women.

Trump and MAGAts blamed hateful rhetoric for the assassination attempt on his life and said liberals and Democrats needed to tone it down. Forget for a moment that they spent the past four years calling us pedophiles and groomers. This isn’t ancient history but maybe during a presidential race, July seems like years ago. Trump must have forgotten because just yesterday he asked rhetorically at one of his hate rallies, “Is there anywhere more fun to be than a Trump rally.”

He should ask Corey Comperatore that question….oh, wait. He can’t because he got shot and killed at a Trump rally.

Now, Trump and his goons are calling Kamala Harris “Comrade” and “Cacklin,” but it gets worse. This week, Trump reposted on X/Twitter a crude, vulgar, sexist joke about Kamala Harris.

Trump reshared a meme making a blowjob joke about Harris which was a reference to a narrative MAGAts have been using over the past four years, that Harris slept her way into political jobs through her romantic relationship with former San Francisco Mayor Willie Brown in the 1990s. It also included a reference to Hillary Clinton and Monica Lewinsky.

He also shared memes from QAnon featuring his enemies, such as Harris, Joe Biden, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and Nancy Pelosi, in orange jumpsuits. Never mind the fact that out of all those people, Trump is the one most likely to be wearing an orange jumpsuit in the future.

He also reposted a meme about locking up the January 6th committee, and an image with the letter 'Q', a Qanon reference, over a sunrise with the words, "In the end, God wins." Again, Donald…if anyone’s about to be locked up…

He posted each of these memes within a few hours of each other which means the Adderall must have been especially good that day.

Rapists don’t have the right to accuse women of being sluts. I firmly believe that if Donald Trump wasn’t rich, then women like Ivanka Trump, Marla Maples, Melania Trump, and all the women he cheated on them with (not counting the rapes and sexual assaults) never would have given him the time of day because Donald Trump looks like an orange C.H.U.D.

After JD Vance said Trump was “lifting people up,” CNN's John Berman asked him, “Would you describe his posts over the last 48 hours as lifting people up? Reposting QAnon statements, reposting these misogynistic memes about Vice President Harris and Hillary Clinton? That's the kind of open discussion that you think he's lifting people up?"

JD replied, "I think if you look at Donald Trump's full campaign appearances and yes, social media appearances, what you see is two things – a guy with an agenda to lower prices and bring back American prosperity and a political candidate who isn't stodgy, who likes to have some fun and likes to tell some jokes," Vance said. "I'd much rather have a candidate who's willing to go off script, who's willing to give every interview and is willing to tell some jokes. I do think that's how you lift people up. A politics of boring scolds telling people they can't laugh. That is not lifting Americans up, that's how to tear us down."

JD thinks people who don’t find adolescent sexist jokes funny are stodgy tearing us down, but thanks for proving what I’m always saying…Republicans are not funny. Republicans don’t do humor because they have zero radar for sarcasm, irony, and satire. To them, Greg Gutfeld is a funny guy. Psst….he’s not.

JD had his own immature sexist attacks on X/Twitter this week, posting a video of a teen beauty pageant contestant struggling to answer a question, and comparing it to Kamala Harris’ interview. Looking at his interview above, JD isn’t one to talk about giving bad interviews.

The video was from years ago and the contestant says she was ridiculed so much that she contemplated suicide. When asked to apologize, JD refused, even after knowing she almost committed suicide. And I get it as apologizing to a woman he insulted would probably get him kicked off the Trump Campaign, but that just proves that you can’t be a decent human being if you’re a part of Trump World. Have you seen any tweets from Laura Loomer? She’s like Ann Coulter on crack when it comes to being vile.

When asked about this by Berman, JD said he thinks the best way to deal with it “is to laugh at ourselves, laugh at this stuff, and try to have some fun in politics.” Except JD wasn’t laughing at himself…he was laughing and ridiculing a woman for something from her teen years.

Then JD said that while he posted “a meme from 20 years ago,” he thinks “the fact that we’re talking about that instead of the fact that American families can’t afford groceries or health care, young families can’t afford to buy a home to raise their families in. Those are the real crises that we should focus on.”

OK, JD… then focus on the cost of groceries, health care, and housing instead of sharing stupid sexist memes. You can’t post a stupid sexist meme and then whine that people are talking about it.

Stop playing the victim, you fucking couch fucker.

The crisis I’m focusing on is that Sir. HumpsALot might become our vice president which is only second worse than Donald Trump becoming our president. We’re going to have to saranwrap every couch in the White House.

Since we’re having fun and joking at other people’s expense, then I hope JD likes this cartoon making fun of him humping a couch and Googling dolphin porn.

Guess what, JD. I’m not going to apologize.

Music note: I listened to The Hives.

Drawn in 30 seconds:

Watch me draw with a voiceover:

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