Chinese Sofa Anchor Babies

What's good for the liars is good for the good guys

JD Vance told CNN last week, “If I have to create stories” to get the media to cover the impact of immigration, then that’s what I’m going to do.” You mean, you’re going to lie.

What bothers me about this is that in the future when they’re caught lying, they’ll claim it was to raise awareness like JD is claiming. Of course, they’ll mostly continue to say their lies are true but when cornered, they’ll probably fall back to JD’s bullshit.

But here’s the thing: If the situation with immigration is so bad, then you don’t have to lie about it.

Remember when Ronald Reagan made up the story about the welfare queen in Chicago? I don’t because I was ten, but I’m a history buff, so I have read about it. During his 1976 losing presidential campaign, Reagan made up, or co-opted, a story about a welfare queen who was a social parasite. Naturally, she was black and the story makes it out that she was sucking at the government teat while good God-fearing white people were paying their taxes. Reagan was howling about welfare reform which is the least troublesome item in the United States budget (social welfare is about one percent of the federal budget which is less than what corporate welfare gets from the federal government). But Reagan wanted to talk about welform reform and since it wasn’t a tragedy, he had to make up some bullshit to raise awareness.

What Reagan’s welfare queen story has in common with JD Vance’s “created” lie about Haitian immigrants eating cats and dogs in Springfield, Ohio is that they’re both lies and they’re racist.

JD was on CNN and when cornered, he admitted his story was a lie. Later, he continued the lie. He, Trump, and fucknuts like Laura Loomer are still lying about this.

If we want to make up lies for awareness, here’s one. Melania Trump’s parents are now U.S. citizens because of chain migration, something Trump rails about. Oh, wait….that’s not a lie. It’s true. Let me try again.

Donald Trump wants to raise tariffs for Chinese products even though most of his products are made in China, and Ivanka was granted 18 trademarks by China shortly after Trump entered the White House in 2017. Aw, crap….that’s true too. Let me try again.

Donald Trump and Republicans accuse Joe Biden of taking bribes from foreign nations while Trump himself is in the golf business with Saudi Arabia. What? That’s not a lie either?

Donald Trump has employed over 100 undocumented immigrants. Shoot…that’s another one that’s true.

Anti-trans and homophobic North Carolina gubernatorial candidate Mark Robinson gets off on trans porn. Oh, yeah…that’s true as well and not a “salacious” lie by CNN as Mr. Black Nazi has claimed.

At his North Carolina hate rally in North Carolina last Saturday, where he didn’t even mention Mark Robinson, Trump said women will be safe if he’s returned to the White House despite the fact he’s an admitted sexual assaulter (grab them by the pussy) who was found by a jury to be a rapist. What? Did you hear something?

Ya know, I’m just not very good at this.

Creative note: I had to mail a print to a reader this morning and on the way back from the post office, I decided to hit McDonald’s for a breakfast sandwich…and I got a deal where I got a second one for a dollar. Eating two McDonald sandwiches in the morning is a terrible thing. I felt so sluggish that I had to lay down for a while. I didn’t even have the energy to draw…and that’s why today’s cartoon is late.

Readers, don’t let me eat two McDonald’s breakfast sandwiches again.

More creative shit: I originally had “create” in this cartoon because it was JD’s actual word but simultaneously (in case you’re a Republican, that means at the same time), proofer Laura and proofer Hilary told me to change it to “make up.” Since they were both on it, I figured I should change it. They’re both smarter than I am but I’m at least smart enough to listen to them. Laura also told me I should take out the Haitian flag that I originally had on the guy’s shirt in the second panel…not because it would be offensive but because nobody would know what it was. She had a point since I had to look it up.

And on another note: Thank you to all the new paid subscribers who were inspired to sign up by Letter From An Editor blog. You made my day and made me feel good. I can’t thank you enough. You all rock. Did you get the warning that I do this every day?

Drawn in 30 Seconds:

Timelapse with a voiceover:

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