XXX Files

The truth is out there and it's been redacted

After he was asked, “Are aliens real?” On a podcast with Brian Tyler Cohen, President Barack Obama said, “They’re real, but I haven’t seen them.”

He went on: “They’re not being kept at Area 51. There’s no underground facility unless there’s this enormous conspiracy and they hid it from the president of the United States.”

Hours later, after millions had lost their minds over his comments, Obama posted a statement clarifying that he had not seen any evidence of them and that he was merely trying “to stick with the spirit” of an interviewer’s rapid round of questioning.

President Obama said, “I was trying to stick with the spirit of the speed round, but since it’s gotten attention, let me clarify. Statistically, the universe is so vast that the odds are good there’s life out there. But the distances between solar systems are so great that the chances we’ve been visited by aliens is low, and I saw no evidence during my presidency that extraterrestrials have made contact with us. Really!”

Personally, that's my belief too. I believe there is life out there, but I don't believe it has ever visited our planet because of the distances between Earth and any other world that could sustain life. If there is life out there that can visit our planet, they would have to have some type of technology similar to what we see in science fiction movies, like warp speed from Star Trek.

Obama’s original comments ramped up long-running conspiracy theories that Area 51, a highly classified Air Force site in Nevada, holds evidence of government contact with extraterrestrials, but declassified documents released in 2013 revealed that the secret military base was actually used for aerial testing of US government projects, including the U-2 and Oxcart aerial surveillance programs.

I remember when those documents were declassified, a lot of people expected them to reveal that Elvis had left the planet from Area 51 with his green friends.

Naturally, Donald Trump had to weigh in on this new controversy. Last Thursday, without providing evidence, he accused Obama of improperly disclosing classified information when discussing alien life on the podcast, saying Obama "made a big mistake."

While talking to reporters on Air Force One, Trump said, "He took it out of classified information ... He's not supposed to be doing that.”

So, did Donald Trump just reveal classified information about aliens?

Later, Trump said he would order Secretary of War (that's still such a stupid name), Pete Hegseth, and other agencies to release the information, calling the matter "extremely interesting and important."

Trump told reporters, "I don't know if they're real or not," and said of Obama, "I may get him out of trouble by declassifying."

Lara Trump, Donald Trump's dimwit daughter-in-law, who is married to his dumbest child, suggested last week that Donald was ready to speak about aliens and has a speech prepared to deliver on aliens that he would give at the "right time."

White House spokesgoon Karoline Leavitt had to issue a denial about that, and told reporters, "A speech on aliens would be news to me." That doesn't mean it's genuine or not because there is a lot of shit that would be news to Karoline Leavitt.

I seriously doubt Donald Trump has a speech in his pocket about aliens, but I don't doubt that he told his daughter-in-law that he does. This should further fuel conspiracy theories.

It is not a conspiracy theory that releasing the UFO files is another distraction from the Epstein files. I would love to see the two batches of files merge. Maybe there's an alien wormhole on Epstein Island that allows Donald Trump to travel back and forth from MAGA-Lardo without being detected.

We could also explain Trump's return to the White House by blaming aliens. Maybe they came down here and gave half the nation a mind warp that made them forget that Donald Trump was the very worst president in the nation’s history, which made them able to vote for him in 2024. They may have also given a mind warp to the other half of the nation for them to stay home on election day. This would prove that the aliens are not friendly and are out to destroy our world, or they have a really fucked up sense of humor.

Maybe instead of destroying our world city by city, followed by an interstellar invasion, the aliens decided it would be a lot easier and cleaner for them to just install Donald Trump and wait it out.

If there were aliens and declassified files, Donald Trump would have exposed that information by now. We know how racist he is and how much he hates non-white people, especially brown and black people. Can you imagine how much he would freak out if they were green beings out there going to visit our planet?

You know that Fearmonger Trump would make as much noise about that as he could. He would be screaming that Mars is a shithole planet, would launch nukes toward Venus, and then create an interstellar board of peace consisting of only rich donors

Drawn in 30 seconds:

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