Trumpy Poo

Donald Trump found a new shitty way to grift

In 2023, a government contractor pleaded guilty to stealing the tax information of Donald Trump and other wealthy Americans and leaking it to media outlets in 2019 and 2020. After he was restored to the presidency in 2025, Trump filed a $10 billion lawsuit against the Internal Revenue Service for “allowing” this leak, along with a $230 million lawsuit against the Department of Justice for the Russia collusion investigation he faced during his first term in office and the 2022 search of his Mar-a-Lago.

Since he is the president of the United States and head of the executive branch, and the DOJ and the IRS are agencies under the executive branch, Donald Trump was the plaintiff and defendant. Basically, he was trying to hand himself $10 billion of our money. Even Richard Nixon didn't try to get away with this kind of corruption. The only kink to Donald Trump's plan of grifting us out of $10 billion is that it had to be approved by a judge.

Unfortunately for Donald Trump, the federal judge overseeing the case wasn't one of his corrupt appointees, like the one in Florida, who tossed out the government's case against him for stealing classified documents. This judge is U.S. District Judge Kathleen Williams, who was appointed by President Barack Obama.

Sensing that the judge was going to decide against the lawsuit this week, because most of Donald Trump's lawsuits are bullshit, Trump, the IRS, and the DOJ conspired to grift taxpayers another way. They are creating a slush fund to reward Trump cronies who broke the law and were targeted by the Department of Justice back when legitimate people were in charge.

They are creating a $1.8 billion slush fund to compensate people they claim were victims of “weaponization and lawfare,” a group that will almost certainly be made up of Trump’s goons. Some of the people eligible for this money are the fine folks who stormed the capital on January 6, 2021, who assaulted police with flag poles, shit on the floor, and rampaged through the place with Confederate flags while trying to scalp Nancy Pelosi and hang Mike Pence. Trump has already pardoned these people. Many might be members of ICE today, and now they are to be financially rewarded for being traitors and terrorists.

The DOJ said Trump himself would not be eligible to receive payments from the slush fund, but yeah, yeah, yeah. This is still corrupt to the high heavens. When Donald Trump's $10 billion lawsuit was still on the table, he said that he wouldn't donate the money to charity. The only problem with taking his word on that is that the man has never donated to charity, not even when he ran his own fake charity, which he plundered from. With the Trump Foundation, he was stealing other people's money. Donald Trump has always been corrupt.

The exact total of the slush fund is $1.776 billion, in reference to the year of our nation’s founding, 1776, which shows that there was no exact accounting when they came to this number. The money is coming from a fund that Congress set up years ago to settle lawsuits filed against the government. That pool of money, the Judgment Fund, gives the Justice Department the authority to make monetary settlements without needing approval from Congress. Yay, no oversight.

Todd Blanche, the acting attorney general who is formally Donald Trump's personal attorney, will appoint a board of five people to oversee the flush fund, with one of those people selected with input from congressional leaders. Trump will be able to fire members of the fund’s commission at will. So basically, Donald Trump will control this board. There aren't even details on how the fifth member will be selected with “input” from congressional leaders. What the hell does that mean? Is it advice and consent? Are the congressional leaders only to be Republicans? Are they only to be members of the Freedom Caucus?

The terms released on Monday include very few stipulations about how the money should be used, and do not describe how compensation claims might be evaluated. The DOJ said the slush fund will send annual reports to the Attorney General, who, again, is controlled by Donald Trump. This has Sith Lord Sheev Palpatine all over it.

The DOJ did not say who will be eligible for the money, saying only that it is intended for “victims of lawfare and weaponization” and people wrongly targeted for “political, personal or ideological reasons.” So it sounds to me that some other people eligible to receive compensation from the slush fund are James Comey, Leticia, James, and anyone else Donald Trump has directed the Department of Justice to prosecute as part of his revenge tour. Can the DC sandwich thrower get a piece?

The people that the Department of Justice went after under the Biden administration were people who broke the law, like the J6 terrorists and Donald Trump. The Department of Justice was doing what the DOJ should do in those instances, which is to enforce the law. These people were not victims of weaponization, politicalization, or legal warfare. They were criminals.

The slush fund will exist until Dec. 15, 2028, at which point any remaining balance of the original $1.776 billion will revert to the federal government. It ends when Donald Trump can't control it anymore. If you believe there will be any money left over, then I will sell you a bridge in Brooklyn, which by 2028 will probably be painted gold and be named after Donald Trump.

It's good that Donald Trump's original plan of stealing $10 billion from taxpayers collapsed, but he still found a way to take our money and politicize it for his benefit. And I was already disgusted with having to pay for his $1 billion ballroom, his grift of $13 million over the reflecting pool, and his chosen illegal war with Iran.

Everything Donald Trump is hitting us with his shit.

Drawn in 30 seconds:

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