Yesterday, three American hostages Russia has been holding on fraudulent charges came home. President Biden negotiated a muti-national deal that The Wall Street Journal, where one of the hostages worked, called the largest since the Cold War.
Those who came home were Evan Gershkovich, a Wall Street Journal reporter that Russia claimed without evidence was spying for the CIA; Paul Whelan, who was charged with espionage while in Russia to attend a wedding; and Alsu Kurmasheva, an editor for Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty's Tatar-Bashkir service, was convicted of spreading false information and not registering as a foreign agent.
In total, the exchange freed 16 people imprisoned in Russia, including five Germans and seven Russian citizens who had been political prisoners in their own country. The U.S. worked alongside Germany, Poland, Slovenia, Norway, and Turkey to secure the deal.
There was an emotional reunion with their families last night on the tarmac of Andrews Air Force Base in Maryland. They were greeted by President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris. Everyone was happy. Well…almost everyone.
Donald Trump didn’t wait for the facts or even for the hostages to touch down at Fort Andrews. But when has Donald Trump ever waited for facts? Even if he did have all the facts, he’d still twist them and lie.
Trump seemed upset he wasn’t in on the deal and demanded on Truth Social to know all the details…and then without waiting for the details, he claimed we paid for the hostages and it was a big win for Vladimir Putin.
While the hostages were on the plane returning home after being released by Russia, Trump was still praising Putin.
Trump also asked, “How many people do we get versus them? Are we also paying them cash? Are they giving us cash (Please withdraw that question, because I’m sure the answer is NO)? Are we releasing murderers, killers, or thugs?”
He also barked, ”Just curious because we never make good deals, at anything, but especially hostage swaps. Our ‘negotiators’ are always an embarrassment to us! I got back many hostages, and gave the opposing Country NOTHING—and never any cash. To do so is bad precedent for the future. That’s the way it should be, or this situation will get worse and worse. They are extorting the United States of America. They’re calling the trade ‘complex’—That’s so nobody can figure out how bad it is.”
Yeah, it’s complex…complex like figuring out how someone can be Indian and Black Jamaican at the same time.
Trump did trade hostages/prisoners when he was in office. But if you want to count, 56 American hostages were released during Trump’s presidency (sic) while President Biden has secured the release of over 70. In case you’re a MAGAt, 70 is a greater number than 58.
In one of those deals, Trump traded 250 Houthi rebels held in Oman for two Americans held in Yemen by Iranian-backed militants. In case you’re a MAGAt, 250 is more than two.
While not saying Gershkovich’s name (because he can’t even say “China” without it sounding like an abbreviation of “Vagina,”), Trump promised during his July debate with President Biden, “As soon as I win the election, I will have that reporter out.” Well, that’s one less promise Trump has to keep, and can now put more focus into destroying democracy “if he’s elected.”
And I really doubt Trump cares about any reporter who doesn’t work for Fox News since he believes the media is the “enemy of the American people.”
Trump also claimed that Putin wanted “billions” for the release of Gershkovich, but can’t seem to find the evidence to prove that.
And Ukraine, you’re fucked if Trump “wins” because he says he’ll negotiate with Putin and end his illegal war with you. I’m so sorry.
Trump has had a rough time of it lately. He got shot in the ear by a fellow Republican, He didn’t get a bounce in the polls from his convention. With Biden dropping out and Vice President Kamala Harris stepping in, he wasted his convention week bashing Biden. He gave the most boring speech (clocked at over 90 minutes) in election history at his convention (even MAGAts were yawning). His new running mate has turned out to be a women-hating couch-humping dolphin-porn-searching cat-hating weirdo. He had a bad day Wednesday questioning the race of Harris. Now, he can’t campaign on being a tough negotiator who would have freed these hostages. Why can’t white billionaires ever catch a break?
Trump claimed last May that he could get Gershkovich freed, saying, “Vladimir Putin, President of Russia, will do that for me, but not for anyone else, and WE WILL BE PAYING NOTHING!” Uh, it looks like Putin did it for President Biden.
Plus, you can’t trade 34 felonies for hostages.
JD Vance decided to give credit for the release to his new daddy, Donald Trump.
Vance said, “We have to ask ourselves, why are they coming home? And I think it’s because bad guys all over the world recognize Donald Trump’s about to be back in office, so they’re cleaning house. That’s a good thing. And I think it’s a testament to Donald Trump’s strength.”
While president (sic), Trump would take credit that belonged to other presidents before him, like the economy President Obama built. Now, he’s taking credit for presidents who came after him.
And if Donald Trump had negotiated that deal, he would have negotiated for us to receive the couch from the house cleaning for JD.
I’m sure none of the bad guys were thinking about Donald Trump while making the deal to return hostages. Also, Trump should note that JD implied Putin is a bad guy which is tougher than anything Trump has ever said about Putin.
But nobody’s afraid of negotiating with Trump. One of the many false beliefs Trump has spread about himself is that he’s a great negotiator, but he’s the worst.
Trump negotiated the withdrawal of US troops from Afghanistan, not with the government in power at the time. Maybe that’s why he believes he should have been part of the negotiations to return our hostages because, like the Taliban, he’s also a terrorist trying to seize power.
Trump’s deal with the Taliban included the release of 5,000 Taliban and possibly ISIS-K prisoners. During the withdrawal of US troops, terrorists attacked killed over 100 people, including 16 Americans. Hmm…I wonder where those terrorists came from.
What did we get for Trump negotiating with the Taliban? He originally wanted to negotiate with the Taliban at Camp David, because he was more concerned with the photo-op than the actual deal. By the way, the Camp David summit with the Taliban was planned for September 11.
When Trump didn’t get what he wanted from Congress to build his stupid racist monument to himself in the form of a border wall, he shut down the government. He negotiated with Nancy Pelosi, who had already offered him some funding for the wall, but when the government reopened, there was nothing in the budget for Trump’s stupid racist wall. Nothing. Trump, the best negotiator ever, negotiated down.
With Putin, Trump has only praised him. Standing next to him at the Helsinki Summit, he took Putin’s side over our national security agencies that Russia meddled in the 2016 election.
Trump has claimed Putin wouldn’t have invaded Ukraine while he was in the White House (sic), and that’s true. Putin didn’t need to invade Ukraine while Trump was president (sic) because he didn’t have. There was no way Trump was going to vote for Ukraine to join NATO (every member nation has a veto). And Trump was trying to destroy NATO. Putin’s not a genius as Trump claims he is, but he knows enough not to start a war in Eastern Europe while his puppet was working to destroy NATO.
Trump has already shown his hand to Putin. Putin has shown his hand too and it’s up Trump’s ass. If Trump was so good at debating and with Putin willing to do things for him, then why didn’t he get Paul Whelan freed while he was president (sic)? Whelan was arrested in 2018 and as I recall, the president (sic) at that time was NOT Joe Biden. In case you’re a MAGAt, 2018, 2019, and 2020 are more than two years to get somebody released from Russia.
Proving again that Putin’s not a genius, he should have waited for Trump before negotiating with President Biden because Trump would have given him more. For all we know, Trump may have thrown in Aaron Judge, Shohei Ohtani, and a slightly soiled couch.
Drawn in 30 seconds:
Watch the longer version with the voiceover:
If felon-45 is so eager to prove what a good negotiator he is, maybe he should negotiate with Sam Alito and get him to let his hostages (the American people) go and just retire already.
Excellent work on this toon and blog. Cool sippy cup. Funny points of reflection.