The Trumpy Trumpy Shake

Will you be doing the Trump Dance?

I wonder if after Joe and Mika flew down to Mar-A-Lago to kiss Trump’s ring, if they also did the Trump Dance.

What is the Trump Dance? It’s that rythmless thing that Trump’s been doing at his rallies for years. During his first term, it was mocked. Why was it mocked? Because it’s stupid and looks ridiculous. But now, it’s a thing. When did old White codgers start dance trends?

Trump stopped one of his hate rallies during the campaign to do the Trump Dance for 40 minutes. He didn’t talk or give a speech. He just did that stupid white man dance. Now we have to ask ourselves, which is worse, listening to Trump for 40 minutes or watching him dance?

How do you do the dance? You don’t move anything below your hips. You can sway your torso, but not too much. You have to keep your legs locked. You don’t want to scare the old White ladies. You make fists and with the palms facing away from you, you pump them and stick them straight out in from of your body. Think of the Elaine Benes dance but without the kicks and thumbs.

But the real key to mastering the Trump Dance is to lose all rhythm...and self-esteem, pride, ethics, principle, conscience, integrity, dignity, backbone, etc, etc. But what’s most weird about the Trump Dance is that other people are doing it. I know, right? Why in the hell would anybody want to copy dance moves from a 78-year-old rythmless White guy? You don’t see anyone copying Grandpa’s moves at a wedding.

The dance is mostly taking off in sports with the nodding approval of Republican schmucks like CNN’s Scott Jennings and Fox News’ Jesse Watters, who are not two guys you need dance approvals from. If anything, they look more like the preacher in Footloose trying to keep Kevin Bacon from teaching the town how to dance. The Trump Dance is probably the only one Jennings and Watters can approve of that’s not dancing to fiddles.

So who else is doing this herky-jerky Nazi dance?

It first began the weekend after the election when San Francisco 49ers defensive end Nick Bosa celebrated a sack by dancing badly in the endzone. Yes, it was the Trump Dance as Bosa is a public jackass for Trump.

Bosa was also fined by the NFL $11,255 a few weeks ago for crashing a teammate’s interview while wearing a MAGA hat. That’s a typical move for a MAGAt, to crash something to show the world you’re obnoxious for Trump. Now, some of Bosa’s teammates are joining in to dance with him.

Other NFL players who did the Trump Dance last weekend are Detroit Lions defensive end Za’Darius Smith, Las Vegas Raiders tight end Brock Bowers, and Tennessee Titans wide receiver Calvin Ridley. In other sports, British golfer Charley Hull and US soccer player Christian Pulisic dance for Trump.

Pulisic says his dance wasn’t political but you don’t go to a cross burning to make smores without someone thinking you’re in the Klan. Sure, smores with that chocolate and marshmallow melting on a graham cracker are delicious, but I’d like it without the racism. You can dance without racism too and maybe even move your hips.

The Athletic writer Jeff Reuter wrote about Pulisic’s sick dance moves, “In the immediate wake of a presidential election which carries tremendous global consequence, even a dance move is going to be studied closely as an embodiment of his nation’s tenor," he wrote. "He may not realize how Trump’s views on immigration could impact his dual-national teammates and their families. Regardless, this is a case where a dance conveys a meaning well beyond a simple gesture. With his nation co-hosting the World Cup in 2026, having the captain and face of the USMNT paying homage to Trump carries outsized subtext, intended or not.

"It doesn’t matter if Pulisic wants that responsibility to consider perception. That comes with being a leader. He can cite eagerness to embrace that type of role but in light of Monday’s dance move, he’d be wise to consider what that distinction truly entails."

UFC heavyweight champion Jon Jones celebrated his latest victory At UFC 309 on Saturday, with Trump in attendance, by doing…you guessed it…the Trump Dance. This man was literally wearing boxing gloves while standing next to Trump and chose not to punch a Nazi.

Of course, there’s a huge double standard for this. Remember when goons on Fox News told Lebron James and others to “shut up and dribble” for sharing their political opinions? Yeah, you don’t want to hear Lebon talk politics but you’ll listen to Ted Nugent and Chachi. Remember when Trump screamed “Fire that sonofabitch” at Colin Kaepernick for kneeling against racism, thus ruining his entire career because no team was willing to give him a tryout after that for at least seven years. He never played for another team again after being howled at by the First Racist.

Scott Jennings said about the dance, “Why shouldn’t they? Trump is back, America is back and once again, it’s cool to be Republican again.” Yeah, no. It’s not “cool” to be a Republican. I’m sure German goose steppers in the 1930s thought it was cool to be a Nazi. Also, Trump is back? When did he ever leave?

Fox News contributor Jessica Tarlov said, “I guess we’ve gotten to the portion of the Trump era where we have moved past ‘shut up and dribble’ and now it is fantastic for athletes to talk about their politics.” yeah, it’s fantastic if they say what you want to hear and it doesn’t speak out against racism.

Last night, Scott Jennings downplayed the contrast between Kaepernick and the dancing athletes by claiming the dance is just fun while Kaepernick’s kneeling was “overtly political.” That’s easy for a White Trumper to state. Without any thought of walking in someone else’s shoes, Jennings believes protesting racism is overtly political while dancing for a racist is just fun.

Jesse Watters attributes this, like Jennings, to it being “cool” to be a Republican again. Watters cries that there was a stigma to being a Trumper (why can’t White guys ever catch a break?) and now that stigma is on Never Trumpers. I will proudly say out loud in public that I’m an anti-Trumper.

If more people are going to be proud to wear MAGA hats and display their racism, then I should be able to wear my Pendejo Trump shirt anywhere without someone throwing ketchup on me.

A few weeks ago, someone new in my life talked about how we didn’t know each other very well at that point of our friendship, and proving her point a bit later, asked me if I would flip and become a Trumper now that he’s going to be president again (sic). Yeah, she didn’t know me well enough yet. I can assure her that I will never betray my beliefs, or her, or you, and do what the Morning Joe idiots did.

No timewarp dance will ever take me to a point where I’m a Trumper.

Creative note: As you will recall, I did a cartoon on Joe and Mika yesterday. I don’t like doing the same subject two days in a row, but not a lot of readers understood that cartoon. Also, I wanted to do a cartoon on the Trump Dance. Actually, there are two. You’ll see the other one later.

Drawn in 30 seconds:

Timelapse with a voiceover:

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon at Claytoonz is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Tales From The Trumpster Fire: There are currently eight copies and you can order yours signed by me, for $45.00. You can pay through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Knee-Deep In Mississippi: There are only eight copies left of my first book, published in 1997. These can be purchased for $40.00

Tip Jar: If you want to support the cartoonist, please donate through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com, Venmo to clay-jones-87, or snail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402