The Peace Grifter

Can you grift me now?

Here’s a fun fact: Between the 2024 presidential election and the inauguration on January 21, 2025, the Trump Store launched at least 168 new products. One product would have been weird.

This isn’t just a way to grift your supporters, but also to take bribes. The Trump Store isn’t run by the Trump Campaign, but by the Trump Organization. All the profits go directly to Donald Trump. These 168 products are in addition to the products launched before the election, like Trump Watches, Trump Shoes, Trump Bible, etc, etc. Now, we're going to get Trump Mobile. I, for one, expect future commercials to be made even cheaper than those featuring Ryan Reynolds for Mint Mobile.

Trump Mobile will sell a gold (fake) cell phone for $500. Check it out.

One analyst discovered that it’s the same phone another cellular provider carries, which is made in China, but sells for less than $200. But who’s surprised Trump is selling a cheaply-made product for an outlandish price? He’s selling a $300 guitar for $5,000. What increases the price is that it’s a “Trump” guitar. We guitar players used to joke, with some truth to it, that the only difference between a $3,000 Gibson and a $300 Epiphone was the shape of the headstock. Now, the only difference between a $300 Tokai copy of a Les Paul and a Trump copy of a Les Paul is the taste of the Kool-Aid.

Of course, Trump doesn’t play the guitar, but that’s OK because he sold Trump Wine but doesn’t drink wine, he sold Trump Vodka but he doesn’t drink vodka, he sells the Trump Bible and he’s the anti-Christ, and he sells watches but can’t tell time.

Trump Mobile offers a plan with a monthly fee of (you’re either going to hate this or love it) $47.45 each month. He should have gone with 45 before 47 because he was 45 before he was 47, but that would lose him $2 for each plan every month. Trump is cheap, yo.

It’s a conflict of interest for the president (sic) to be selling merchandise. While the stocks and bitcoins are obvious bribe magnets, Trump Mobile offers a great example of a conflict of interest.

Trump is demanding that Apple start manufacturing its iPhones in the United States or face a 25 percent (at least) import tax. But it’s impossible to fully manufacture iPhones in America. Analyst Leo Gebbie of CCS Insight noted that the US currently “simply does not have the high-tech supply chain” required for smartphone assembly.

This brings us back to Trump Mobile. Eric Trump (the stupid one) said on a podcast that the Trump phones, which are coming out in August (you can pre-order now!), will be built in America. Yet, the iPhone is created by components manufactured in 148 countries. Unless the Trump Phone is nothing more than two plastic cups with a string attached between them, they’re going to have a problem releasing a fully-made-in-America smartphone. And ya never know with the Trump Organization. The technology in their phones may be less high-tech than the two cups and string. How much would a MAGAt pay for that?

Here’s the conflict of interest, kids: When Trump smacks Apple with a 25 percent tariff, thus raising their price for Apple’s customers, will the Trump phone also be slapped with a 25 percent tariff? Of course not. It should also be noted that when Trump is using tariffs as a weapon like this, and to benefit his business, he knows damn well that tariffs are taxes and that China doesn’t pay them.

The other conflict is that Trump, even with the world’s largest military at his disposal, whether it’s for parades, beating protesters, or bombing Iran, he can’t be taken seriously as a person while he’s grifting at the same time. Today, he called for Iran’s “unconditional surrender.” What?

During World War II, the only terms the USA would accept to end the war with Japan were an unconditional surrender. Japan sent several overtures for peace, but President Harry Truman wouldn’t even listen until Japan surrendered unconditionally. What happened after they surrendered unconditionally (after two atomic bombs and Russia declared war on the Japanese Empire)? We occupied Japan. We’re still kinda occupying Japan. Does Trump expect us or Israel to occupy Iran? Let’s see how well occupying Iran with a Jewish army works out.

If you think we invited a war with insurgents by occupying Iraq, wait until we occupy Iran, which is much larger than Iraq.

Israel attacked Iran on its own, but now it’s pressuring Trump to get the US involved and to join its bombing campaign. Now, Trump is referring to the war effort as “we,” as in, “we now have complete and total control of the skies over Iran.” What is this “we” shit? Did Benjamin Netanyahu buy a Trump Guitar?

Remember when Trumpers were bragging that Trump didn’t start any wars? How’s that xenophobia working out for you now?

Trump is right to refer to the war with Iran as “we,” because this war is his fault. He’s the one who dismantled the nuclear agreement that the US and other nations had with Iran, which Iran was complying with. By the way, the war between Israel and Hamas is at least partly his fault, too. During his first term (sic), Trump didn’t do anything to resolve the conflict between Israel and the Palestinians, and added fuel to the fire by recognizing Jerusalem as the Israeli capital. Who could have predicted that making a racist dumbfuck president wouldn’t work out? But hey, maybe it’ll work out the second time.

Donald Trump is going to scorch the Earth, but the good news is that he’s three times richer than he was six months ago. Doesn’t that just make you feel all warm and squishy inside?

California note: I am watching one dog that will not let me pet her anymore, two lizards, a snail, and now a betta fish has been added to the gang. I literally found the fish in its tank on the doorstep this morning.

The betta is a Saimese Fighting Fish, so I’m not gonna fuck around and find out, but I’m warning you now, that snail better not start any shit.

And I stopped by the beach today. No, I left the fish at home.

Creative note: I wrote the blog in a bar near the beach. It’s really hard to focus when every woman who walks by is in a bikini top.

Music note: I’m in a SoCal mood, so today’s drawing music was provided by the Mamas and the Papas, Fleetwood Mac, the Beach Boys, The Byrds, and even a couple of tunes by the Eagles, and I hate the Eagles.

Drawn in 30 seconds:

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