The Bigliest Loser

Did anyone get the number of that truck Tuesday night?

As Chris Tucker said in the film Friday, “You just got knocked the fuck out.”

Donald Trump did get knocked the fuck out Tuesday night and Republicans are having a pretty hard time dealing with it. First, they’re claiming bias from ABC and the moderators in the presidential debate between him and Kamala Harris. When will a rich white male “Christian” finally get a break against a black woman in this country? When?

But if there was a bias, it was for Trump. Yes, he was fact-checked more than Harris but when you tell over 30 lies to your opponent’s one, you’re gonna get fact-checked a few times. It’s not the moderators job to fact-check the candidates, but whoppers like immigrants are eating pets and murdering babies after birth can’t be left hanging.

If it was truly fair, Trump would have been fact-checked over 30 times. The other advantage for Trump is that he spoke 39 times and Harris only spoke 28. He also got five more minutes of speaking time than Harris.

How does that work out? The deal was that both candidates had the same amount of time to speak, yet Orange Grandpa came out with five minutes more to rant out lies and debunked bullshit and he’s still being a baby about it.

The MAGAts can’t find a good excuse for why Trump lost the debate so that they went ahead and created a bad one. They’re saying the reason Harris did so well in beating Trump’s orange ass is that her earrings were listening devices, as though someone was feeding her lines.

This conspiracy has been debunked and even The New York Post (a right-wing pro-MAGA publication that started the entire Hunter Biden laptop story based on so much bullshit that the reporting team didn’t want their names on the story) wrote “The veep’s actual earrings appeared to look more like a gold version of the Double Pearl Hinged Earrings from Tiffany and Co.” Of course, the Post didn’t include that part until 12 paragraphs into the article.

My favorite part about the MAGAt excuse-making is they’re inadvertently admitting Trump lost and Harris beat his old orange wrinkly ass. MAGAts are so stupid.

How well did Harris do? In the first 24 hours after the debate, she raised $47 million while Trump’s sponsors should be asking for refunds.

Now, The New York Times is reporting that Trump is refusing another debate. So maybe he’s not as stupid as we thought he was, but it doesn’t take a Poindexter to learn that after you get hit by a Mack Truck, that you don’t want to step in front of another one again.

A month ago, Trump insisted he had committed to a debate on NBC later this month and goaded Harris for refusing to take part and criticizing her as hiding from the American people and reporters. Now he’s running scared while she said they both owe it to the American people to face off again.

But Donald Trump is a loser, a coward, and a baby. Over 67 million Americans watched the debate Tuesday which means 67 million Americans witnessed Hair Fuhrer lose his shit. Unfortunately, a lot of them are ignoring it.

One nice lady in a focus group said she liked Harris but was unhappy she didn’t answer every question or offer policy details, so she’ll be voting for Cheeto Mussolini because he has “experience.”

Experience in what…being the worst president in United States history? I guess she was satisfied with the Angry Papaya saying he has “concepts of a plan” for replacing Obamacare.

The New York Times asked 14 of their contributors who won with 13 giving it to Harris and the 14th saying, “Brawndo has what plants crave.”

Daniel McCarthy, editor of Modern Age, said, “By staking ground as the outsider candidate, Trump won. He emphasized his willingness to fire officials who performed badly, while Harris boasted about a long line of establishment Republicans who have endorsed her, including Dick Cheney. If Washington needs profound change, it won’t come from the vice president.”

Mr. McCarthy, Trump fired people for investigating him. He fired the people who made those investigations happen. He fired other people out of spite. Did you ignore all the talk about Haitian immigrants eating cats? Is this the change you want? And since when is the former president, a white male billionaire, the outsider? Outsiders don’t shit in gold toilets. Mr. McCarthy, you are dishonest.

Harris beat Orange Shitler, and she beat him badly…and I want more. The Orange Chicken needs to step up.

Drawn in 30 seconds:

Timelapse with a voiceover:

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