MyTaco

Tears on MyPillow

Mike Lindell, famous for being the election-denying MyPillow fucker, came in second last night in the Republican primary for the Minnesota governorship. And just like a crying MAGAt titty baby emulating his orange idol, he's crying foul.

Late last night (Tuesday), the Associated Press called the election for Lisa Demuth, the Minnesota House Speaker. With almost all votes counted, Demuth was more than 45,000 votes ahead of Lindell, who had the backing of Donald Trump, beating him by 43.4% to 32.5%.

Trump made a late push for Lindell, who is such a horrible candidate, that the Republican State Party even refused to follow Trump and endorse him; instead, backing businessman Kendall Qualls, who came in third. I guess they couldn't choke that much Kool-Aid down.

Trump urged Minnesota Republicans on social media to hand Lindell a decisive win and praised his commitment to “free and fair” elections. But even Republicans in Minnesota can identify that Lindell is an unhinged lunatic. It's just too bad that they can't see that in Donald Trump.

Trump posted to Shit Social, “Mike Lindell deserves a BIG WIN IN MINNESOTA today. Nobody has worked harder, and given up so much, in fighting for free and fair Elections. Go out, NOW, and VOTE for Mike Lindell for Governor. He will not let you down.”

Trump’s endorsement power is lagging in governor’s races in 2026. GOP Rep. Randy Feenstra fell to Zach Lahn in Iowa, Lt. Gov. Burt Jones lost to billionaire Rick Jackson in Georgia, and Lt. Gov. Pamela Evette lost in South Carolina. Trump brags about his strength by his endorsees winning elections, but these are primaries. If he was as powerful as he claims with the Republican Party, then he would have a 100% success rate. But as the least popular president in American history, his power is waning. Current polls have his disapproval hovering around 60%.

Told by a reporter on his own streaming channel, LindellTV, that the AP had declared the race over, the MyPillow fucker dismissed the wire service outright. Asked why he wouldn’t accept the call, he questioned the AP’s authority to determine the outcome and insisted hundreds of thousands of votes remained uncounted.

“I’m not going to give up this race until the votes are counted,” Lindell said. “That’s nonsense.”

Also, Lindell has a streaming channel? Why? Who the fuck watches that?

When a news outlet calls a race, it does not do so with any official authority. It is an estimation based on math. Like they hate science, Republicans hate math except when they are counting secret donors to Donald Trump's ballroom or purchases of his crypto. Here, the Associated Press added up the number of votes that were left and where they were coming from. When was the last time a new service called an election for it to turn out wrong? Was it the Bush/Gore race in 2000? Republicans love bad math.

Lindell said, “Why would I listen to the AP?” He blathered on, “There’s 265,000 votes left to count. I’m down by 18,000 now. I’m not going to give up this race until the votes are counted. That’s nonsense.”

Since this was a primary, if there was fraud in the vote count, then it was committed by Republicans.

For weeks, Lindell was not even registered to vote in Minnesota, where he thought he should be the governor. He claimed that he was reestablishing his residency in Minnesota while he was still registered to vote in Texas, with his residency address being linked to a corporation. Nobody lives in a shell company. Thanks to Minnesota law that allows a person to register to vote on election day, Lindell was able to cast the ballot. Usually, Republicans hate this law. But that's just like Donald Trump fear-mongering about mail-in ballots, even though that is how he votes.

Democratic congressman Ted Lou posted to X/Twitter, “Many people say Venezuela rigged the election against Mike Lindell because they don’t like his pillows. Never seen anything like it.”

Rumor has it that sleeping on a MyPillow can give a person a bad hair day. It may be why Donald Trump was wearing a wig in Las Vegas.

There are 83 days until the midterms.

Update: it is now being reported that the CIA did not believe this Iranian threat to Air Force One while it was in Turkey was credible.

Creative note: my colleague and brilliant friend John Deering, who works for the Arkansas Democrat Gazette in Little Rock, drew a very good cartoon with Trump hiding in a taco truck. But let the record show that I used Taco Truck One in last night's blog, so I did not steal it today. That said, I would not be surprised if we don't see other taco truck cartoons.

CSOTD: I am always honored whenever one of my cartoons is chosen by Mike Peterson and makes Comic Strip of the Day, but sometimes I take a little issue with his descriptions and commentaries.

Mike disagreed with my blog from yesterday and wrote, “First of all, Jones assumes that Trump had some agency in the matter, though he himself has said he was just doing whatever security told him to, and, as noted above, he may have become more submissive since that “Fight! Fight! Fight!” business in Butler.

Second, what do you do with all those people? You can’t just leave them there on the tarmac to find their way home, and if you put them on a fourth plane, it’s as likely as any of the other three to be picked out as a target. And giving them a choice would be an extraordinary breach of security; you can’t leave someone behind who knows what’s going on.”

What they could have done was leave the jet on the tarmac with the reporters on it until Trump had landed in the UK. At that point, they could have informed the journalists on board about the threat. From there, the journalists could have made their own decisions regarding their safety. Besides, journalists traveling with the president in the past had been informed about secret travel arrangements without it leaking to the public beforehand.

Also, the subterfuge of Trump moving from the plane he traveled to the UK in to the plane they believed he was on, from which he disembarked for the cameras, was not for security reasons. It was just for show. At that point, it was believed that Trump was out of danger. He did not want his supporters to know that Mr. Fight Fight Fight was cowering in a catering truck.

Drawn in 30 seconds:

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