Illegal Firefighters

Maybe don't deport the guy putting out your fire

Is every department in the Trump Regime headed by an idiot? Yes. Yes, they are.

The Defense Department is headed by a drunk womanizer whose qualification is that Trump liked the way he looked on Fox News. The Justice Department is led by a woman Trump has previously bribed, so he knows she’ll be loyal. The State Department is headed by a guy who is a coward, can’t think on his feet, and once insinuated that Donald Trump has a tiny penis, but fell in line shortly after that. The Department of Education is led by someone who may not be able to spell “education.” The Health Department’s chief is a guy who believes in chemtrails and that vaccines cause autism. The secretary of the Commerce Department doesn’t know that tariffs are taxes, and is an evil fuck who immediately ceased paying the salaries to the families of all his employees who died on 9/11. The Director of National Intelligence doesn’t have intelligence. The vice president (sic) is into dolphin porn and couch fucking, and doesn’t care that Trump may be America’s Hitler, as he has claimed in the past. And the head of the Department of Homeland Security, which oversees ICE, is a puppy murderer.

And since the head of DHS, Kristi Noem, is so evil and stupid, she’s arrested firefighters while they were fighting a forest fire.

Two firefighters were arrested last week while working the Bear Gulch fire in the Olympic National Forest in Washington State, which, as of last Friday, had burned about 14 square miles and only 13 percent of the fire contained, forcing people to evacuate their homes.

One of the firefighters was on track to achieve legal status for helping the federal government with a previous investigation. Border Patrol said it had been helping the Bureau of Land Management with a criminal investigation into two contractors working at the fire and a hat-wearing bear stealing picnic baskets when it discovered two firefighters who they claim were in the country without permanent legal status. But they were fighting a fire, so leave them alone and go find that bear.

The lawyers for one of the firefighters say his arrest was illegal, and violated DHS polices that say immigration enforcement must not be conducted at locations where emergency responses are happening. That makes sense.

That firefighter has lived in the US for 19 years after arriving with his family at the age of four. He received a U-visa certification from the US attorney’s office and submitted his U-visa application to the US Citizenship and Immigration Services. This is not a man hiding his status. He is not a criminal or a danger to anyone in the United States. He is an asset to this nation. DHS should leave him alone and maybe fuck with that bear.

Another DHS policy says agents cannot detain people who are receiving or have applied for victim-based immigration benefits. His lawyer said that charging the firefighter with an immigration violation was “an illegal after-the-fact justification” given his U-visa status.

Why isn’t Noem enforcing department policy? Does she not know what those policies are, or does she not give a shit? Did I forget to mention that she’s a horrible human being? Why would she rather arrest firefighters on the job than a picnic basket-stealing bear? I bet there were chicken salad sandwiches in one of those baskets, that stupid bear.

303 firefighters were fighting the fire last Friday, but Border Patrol nabbed 42 of them for questioning while the fire was still raging. Border Patrol denies that, but Border Patrol has a history of lying. They’re usually waiting at immigration court to snag immigrants trying to become citizens or legal residents. Now, they’re going to wildfires to arrest and deport immigrants fighting the fires. Uh, Border Patrol didn’t start the fires, did they?

Did Kristi Noem start the fires? She probably would if she thought it’d make a great photo-op.

The firefighter, who has been in this nation since he was four, wasn’t engaging in human trafficking or drug smuggling. He was fighting a fucking fire. I thought Trump said he’d only focus on the criminals….like that fucking bear.

Bad info:

Yesterday morning, I got a message on Blue Sky from a reader who sent this photo.

She said this was the front page of The Lance-Star’s Sunday edition. FLS is my former employer, which laid me off in 2012. This person said it wasn’t her newspaper, didn’t pick it up, and didn’t see the masthead, which would have told her what newspaper it was. But I was pissed.

The companies (plural) that have owned my former paper since the Rowe family lost it have done all they can to destroy the legacy of FLS. Putting ads on the front page is a disgrace, but putting an ad for a fake university that spreads lies, conspiracy theories, and bullshit is flat-out disgusting, unethical, and what should be a huge violation of journalism ethics. I was mad and planned to do something about it, like drawing a cartoon on it.

I sent this to Proofer Laura and asked if she still had a subscription. She does. So, we looked at the e-replica version of Sunday’s FLS…and the ad wasn’t there. We went through multiple days, and we still could not find this page. I talked to two other friends with subscriptions, and they had never seen this ad. I went back to the person who sent it to me, and she said it was a mistake, and it was The New York Times. It is NOT The New York Times, as the Grey Lady does NOT put ads on its front page. And this cartoonist does NOT like being given false information. I still don’t know what publication was lying in a yard in the FLS subscription area.

People send me shit every day. Most of it’s stuff that does nothing for me, and usually info I already know. People also send me stuff they have verified, like rumors, or a meme with info but without a source, and other shit like that. And that’s OK, but let me know if it’s unverified. Do not send me something saying it is what it isn’t. That will drive me nuts. Liberals are just as bad as MAGAts about believing what they want to believe.

Tariff gripe:

Do you do “subscribe and save” with Amazon? I do it with several products, like trash bags every six months, paper towels every few months, and coffee every other month. But you gotta be careful with these plans because I’ve had prices increase in the past without any notice. But at least I got a notice this time.

I save five percent on the retail price of coffee with the subscription, and that may not seem like a lot for a bag, but it is for six bags, and likewise, a price increase of $2 may not seem like a lot, but $12 is. The image below says I receive four “units” with each delivery, but I actually get six bags.

When the price goes up like this, I will skip that delivery and hope it goes down before the next one, or cancel the subscription. I may return to my habit of shopping for deals while at the grocery store, or find another subscription. I’m not worried for the moment because I have at least seven bags on hand for right now, and TACO might/will taco out again.

Coffee is part of my routine. If you fuck with my coffee, then you’re fucking with me. You remember my outrage over the lack of coffee in Iceland. Clay needs his coffee to toon. Donald Trump is fucking with my coffee. I’m not super particular about which brand of coffee I get, just so long as it’s quality. I usually get Tim Hortons, Gevalia, Starbucks, Wawa, or Dunkin, depending on the price. I’m a little too snooty for Folgers and Maxwell House. The lady I was kinda sorta seeing late last year brought me some coffee from Guatemala that was amazing.

But don’t let any MAGAt gaslight you by claiming Trump’s tariffs aren’t making prices increase. And what’s the point of tariffs on coffee? It’s not like we’re going to make great American-made coffee.

Corrections: Please email all typos, boo-boos, and any other mistakes to clayjonz@gmail.com. If you put it in the comments, I may not see it until hours or days later. Thanks.

Creative note: I started with a similar idea, which I drew downtown, but then came home, and this version hit, which I liked much better.

Music note: I listened to Van Halen, and NOT Van Hagar.

Drawn in 30 seconds:

Timelapse:

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