Ice Ice Barbie

Noem is more interested in her face than in providing assistance to the Texas flood survivors

ICE Barbie, Kristi Noem, the Director of Homeland Security, is failing at her job miserably.

A portrait of Noem is going to be displayed in the South Dakota Capitol building, and there are three options. Who gives a shit, right? Kristi Noem, that’s who. Noem went on Instagram and posted to her creepy followers, “Which one do you like for the official Governor’s portrait to hang in the South Dakota State Capitol? Thank you David Uhl!” She added the three paintings of herself on horseback by artist David Uhl.”

She did this five days ago, during the floods in Texas that have killed at least 120 so far.

Here are the other two portraits.

I wonder how much South Dakota tax money was spent on this.

Before Noem’s survey about herself, Puppy-Killah Kristi did her stupid photo-op in El Salvador with the notorious prison behind her, with Trump deportees as props. She was in full makeup while making sure her shiny $10,000 Rolex was visible, which is probably less than her teeth cost.

She’s done other photos with guns, posing as an ICE agent. In one of them, she wasn’t holding the gun correctly and got roasted for it online. I bet she can’t ride a horse either.

We should be relieved that she didn’t shoot that ICE agent in the face. In her defense, she does know how to shoot a gun because that’s how she murdered her puppy. So there, critics.

Kristi is the kind of person that if you went out to dinner with her, she’d humbly say at some point, “Enough of me talking about myself. Now let’s hear you talk about me.” She can’t get over herself. She might be the female equivalent of Donald Trump. She already has the fake hair, and now she just needs the ridiculous tie, the orange make-up, and an adult diaper that hasn’t been changed since his first flip-flop on tariffs.

Remember, Kristi used to look like this…

…before she looked like this.

She definitely went for the Melania look, which is an improvement over the look for hunting wolves from a helicopter. She even got free dental work while she was governor, on the condition that she make a commercial for the Texas dentist who did her work.

It seems that’s the only time she’s interested in Texas, when she can get free dental work, but not when there’s a disaster.

According to The New York Times, two days after catastrophic floods roared through Central Texas, the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) did not answer nearly two-thirds of calls to its disaster assistance line.

An anonymous source close to the issue said the lack of responsiveness happened because the agency had fired hundreds of contractors at call centers.

FEMA, which is a part of Homeland Security (I have to include that because trolls are commenting on this cartoon on Facebook asking, “What’s DHS got to do with FEMA?"), laid off the contractors on July 5 after their contracts expired and were not extended, according to the documents and the person briefed on the matter. Noem, who has instituted a new requirement that she personally approve expenses over $100,000, did not renew the contracts until Thursday, five days after the contracts expired, and about a week after the floods started.

Where was ICE Barbie? She was probably spending her time looking at herself in a mirror, or maybe she confused Texas for one of the seven Native American tribes that banned her from their reservations.

Adam Zyglis: There’s a part of this cartoon that is my standing in solidarity with my colleague Adam Zyglis. So what happened with Adam? Adam, who works for the Buffalo News, drew a cartoon mocking Republican hypocrisy, asking for federal aid after protesting against federal disaster relief for other states. This has upset Republicans, which shows more hypocrisy for the gang that shouts “snowflake” at their political opponents. They even cried on Fox News about it.

Now, an event at the Buffalo History Museum by the Buffalo News Guild, which was to feature Adam among other journalists, has been postponed because of “credible” death threats toward Adam and his family.

And just today, a MAGAt posted on one of my client’s shares of a cartoon of mine about how Democrats are the violent ones.

Some cartoonists, like Steve Brodner, are doing similar cartoons with Adam’s cartoon as the inspiration. Cartoonists are being asked to redraw Adam’s cartoon. What I did was place it in today’s cartoon as another Easter egg.

I had to do it my way and in my style. I Claytoonzed it.

Creative note: I drew tomorrow’s FXBG Advance cartoon last night, so I could focus on this cartoon today, and then I didn’t finish it until 5:45 p.m. It took an hour to color this.

Music note: Since this was kind of a large coloring project, I listened to an entire album to make the process go quicker, The Beatles’ Magical Mystery Tour. It’s not the White Album, Sgt. Pepper, Revolver, or Abbey Road, but it’s a great album.

Drawn in 30 seconds:

Timelapse:

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