Hack

He sells bullshit by the seashore

As you know, by now, Todd, Blanche, Donald Trump's former personal lawyer and current acting Attorney General, is a political hack.

If you had read that someone was going to prison in another country for posting an image of seashells that spelled out 8647, you would think that it was from an authoritarian state. If this were North Korea, would James Comey be put to death by anti-aircraft fire?

Pam Bondi, Blanche’s predecessor, was fired for what many believe was for being too slow to prosecute Donald Trump's enemies. She had already indicted James Comey once before, which was basically laughed out of court, and never had even the slightest possibility of ever going to trial.

It is believed that Blanche is much smarter than Bondi, but this indictment may be dumber than the previous one by the DOJ. Reading the motion that DOJ sent to court to argue for the need for Donald Trump's stupid ass ballroom, you would think it was written by a rejected law student prospect.

And now, they've indicted a former FBI director for taking a photo of seashells. Seashells. Seriously.

Even Donald Trump could barely believe it, as he was asked in the Oval Office yesterday, and he struggled to admit that his life was threatened by… again, seashells.

W/hen Asked if the DOJ would pursue charges against anybody who posts “8647,” and whether that would impinge their First Amendment rights, Blanche said that “every case is different” and it “would be ill-advised for anybody to compare a particular statement to another statement that appears similar.”

He said, “Every time that’s posted, that number is posted, you know that every time there’s a threat against the president, it doesn’t necessarily lead to an indictment. It depends on the investigation. It depends on all kinds of factors.”

What Blanche is trying to say is that it depends on whether or not the person posting “8647” is a perceived enemy of Donald Trump's or not. It depends on whether or not he's a Republican or a Democrat. It depends on whether or not it is a person that Donald Trump has a personal grudge with. And it also depends on how badly the acting Attorney General wants to pander to have the job full-time. Lastly, it's a threat if it's “8647,” but it's not a threat if it says “8646.”

Is hard for the DOJ to argue that most postings of “8647” are not a threat to a president's life, but making the numbers out in seashells is. As I shared the other day, there are dozens of listings on Amazon for T-shirts that read “8646,” which the DOJ does not consider a threat to President Joe Biden.

It has been nearly a year since Comey made the seashell post on Instagram, which he quickly took down after it upset conservatives, who, quite frankly, get upset quite easily because they are a bunch of snowflakes. So if Comey is such a threat to Donald Trump's life, then why did the DOJ let him remain free for all this time? Why is he still free?

Comey had his first hearing yesterday, which lasted about five minutes, from which he was released on his own recognizance, because the judge did not deem him a threat. He is not a threat.

And why did it take them nearly a year to “investigate” this case? What was there to investigate? Did they want to know if Comey just happened to come across the seashells or did he spell out “8647” on his own, and then take a photo of it? What difference would that make? If Comey had just come across the seashells, does that mean there is another seashell assassin on the loose on the beaches of North Carolina? If that's the case, maybe Comey should be lauded for performing a public service and informing the public that there's a North Carolina seashell assassin on the loose. Were there witnesses to Comey taking a photo of seashells? Comey had already admitted that he did it. Even Maxwell Smart could've figured this one out within three minutes, or at least less than a year.

It has always amazed me to what level formerly respected and professional people will reduce themselves to pander to Donald Trump. Soon, I expect shoe dye to run down the side of Todd Blanche's face as he calls a press conference outside a dildo shop.

This case is so ridiculous that even Pam Bondi didn't push for it. This is almost as bad as when the DOJ tried to indict the sandwich thrower. But it's good to know that Donald Trump's Justice Department will protect us from seashells and sandwiches.

I hope Todd Blanche is ready to be mocked about seashells for the rest of his life. But then again, his reign as attorney general, if he gets the job full-time, is just beginning, so there's plenty of time for him to create new bogus charges in the future that he'll be mocked about for the rest of his life.

Creative note: When I begin work in the morning, it takes me a while to build control in my right hand. For example, this is how today's first drawing looked. It can be very frustrating. Sometimes I just want to close my iPad and crawl back into bed.

But get better.

It’s a hard position to draw anyway, even without partial paralysis. Each day is different, and I will have more control and strength than the day before, or less. Drawing is therapy.

Drawn in 30 seconds:

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