Fun With Cyclospora

Fun fun with the run runs

In case you were too busy celebrating MAHA (Make America healthy again) to notice, measles outbreaks in this country have surpassed the totals from last year. In case you are a Republican, last year was 2025.

Measles was declared eliminated in the year 2000, but the virus has made a roaring comeback thanks to the efforts of Secretary of Health Robert F Kennedy Jr, who is not a doctor or a scientist. What diseases will RFK Jr resurrect next: smallpox, polio, yellow fever, malaria, guinea worm disease, whatever the fuck that is? Maybe he will re-institute the plague, and we can all bring out our dead.

Or, maybe you were not too busy celebrating MAHA, but too busy on the toilet from eating iceberg lettuce at Taco Bell to notice that RFK Jr is resurrecting dead viruses. Even that Chihuahua isn't saying “yo quiero Taco Bell” anymore.

The good news is that Health and Human Services Secretary RK Jr now says that the cyclospora outbreak is “under control,” which means I'm eating at Jimmy John's tonight.

Last Saturday, an employee at a Taco Bell in Memphis threw boiling water on a coworker, which required surgery. The good news is, the victim wasn't hit with a head of lettuce. But what really irks me is that in the story about this from a local Memphis TV station, the water is described as “boiling hot water,” which is redundant, fuckers. And that story has three writers. Three!

Anyway, we are probably safe from catching explosive diarrhea from Donald Trump, because he would never serve a salad made with lettuce. We're more in danger from his word salads. Trump caught Covid, despite being advised and protected by the world's best doctors, but he's not gonna catch a virus from a vegetable.

As for myself, I am in danger because I eat a salad almost every day. Did I mention that I am so sick of salads? Yeah, I'm about 40 pounds lighter than I was before the stroke, but I really do miss fried food.

Creative note: I wrote this cartoon on Wednesday, but held it for today. It was pushed back in favor of yesterday's Kegsbreath cartoon.

Two of my clients have already published this cartoon.

Someone commented on my Facebook page, believing that the broom rider is LeBron James, which is extremely off the mark.

Also, I'm not really eating at Jimmy John's tonight.

Drawn in 30 seconds:

Support your local cartoonist: If you want to support the cartoonist, please donate through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com, Venmo to clay-jones-87, or snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.
I also take Zelle.
All support is appreciated.

Signed prints and books: I cannot take orders for signed prints or for my books at this time. So please do not send me money or place orders for them until further notice. Because of the stroke, it is an ordeal for me to get to the post office, so we’re gonna hold up until I’m fully capable of doing so. Thank you for your understanding.

Merch: Did you know there’s a Claytoonz store? My cartoons are printed on mugs, clothing, caps, and even a Peezy T-shirt. If you ever want a specific cartoon on some merch, let me know, and I’ll add it.