FB-lie Detector

Kash Patel is forcing FBI agents to take polygraph tests to find out who told a reporter he has a drinking problem

Kash Patel, the worst FBI Director in the history of the bureau, has ordered the polygraphing of more than two dozen former and current members of his security detail, as well as other staff, to find leakers among his team, according to two people briefed on the development.

They described Kash as being in panic mode to save his job after negative publicity about his drinking, partying, and other extracurricular activities had come to Donald Trump's attention.

Kash demanded the polygraph examinations to determine if any members of the team that travels with him or staff who have access to sensitive details about his decisions have communicated with reporters, according to the people, who asked to speak anonymously due to the threat of retribution.

The FBI has opened a criminal investigation into Sarah Fitzpatrick, the reporter who wrote that "excessive drinking" was causing deep concern in the bureau. Patel is suing The Atlantic for $250 million over the story. Because of the story, more informers from within the FBI are contacting Fitzpatrick and the magazine to provide dirt on Patel.

And because of these informers, we have learned that Patel is handing out personalized, branded bottles of bourbon.

Fitzpatrick wrote that it is not unusual for Patel to travel with bottles of Kentucky distillery Woodford Reserve that are engraved with the words “Kash Patel FBI Director,” and an FBI shield. The shield also includes Patel’s preferred spelling of his name: Ka$h.

It is kind of hard to shake the impression that you have a drinking problem when you're handing out personalized bottles of bourbon to everyone you come across.

One of these bottles was left in the locker room in Italy, where Patel was seen partying and chugging beer with the US men's Olympic hockey team.

Another bottle found its way to eBay, where The Atlantic was able to purchase it.

In March, Patel reportedly brought an entire case of the personalized hooch to the FBI’s training facility in Quantico, Virginia, for a “training seminar” with the UFC. There, one of the bottles went missing, which prompted Patel to “lose his mind,” according to clients of Kurt Siuzdak, a retired agent who has aided FBI agents with legal problems.

Patel even threatened to force agents to take a polygraph test and prosecute them over the missing booze.

Patel should be forced to take a polygraph test and reiterate all the election lies that he pushed over the past five years.

How much longer will Patel last as FBI Director before Trump finally gets embarrassed enough to fire the drunk imbecile?

I told you I would report back: and after having a chicken breast, a salad, some fruit, and a sugar-free snack or two last night, my glucose this morning was only 102. I thought it would be higher since I had a Diet Pepsi last night. Seems like anytime I drink one of those, my reading is high the next morning. I will never figure this crap out.

Creative note: This was my second idea for the cartoon. I thought my first idea was too close to one of my colleague’s cartoons. While working on this, I kept writing ideas on the decision that came down today by the Virginia Supreme Court. You will see the cartoon on that subject this Sunday. I'm drawing it for the Advance.

Drawn in 30 seconds:

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