Enemy At The Gaetz

Scott Jennings, CNN’s conservative analyst argued last night that Donald Trump has approval from voters to form a government that’s not business as usual. I think we can all agree that appointing a possible pedophile as Attorney General is NOT business as usual. Jennings also argued that every one of Trump’s cabinet picks deserves a hearing. Jennings, like half the Republican Party, is treating the appointment of Matt Gaetz as Attorney General seriously, like it’s not a corrupt joke.

Scott Jennings ignores that despite winning (gag) the election, Trump’s approval ratings are seven points underwater and with picks like Matt Gaetz as Attorney General, they’ll only sink deeper.

Even among Trump sycophants, this is a hard one to swallow. Scott, learn to spit.

Congressman, former Congressman now, Matt Gaetz is the gooniest of the goons. It doesn’t get much worse than Matt Gaetz. Gaetz is probably the slimiest of all the MAGAts, and not just because of the six quarts of motor oil he puts on his head every morning.

Matt Gaetz is such a slimy unethical rotten vile-to-the-core piece of rancid dog shit that other Republicans don’t like him…except for Lauren Boebert, Marjorie Taylor Greene, and Donald Trump. Was Lionel Hutz not available (I Can’t Believe It’s A Law Firm)?

We knew that Donald Trump would appointment an unqualified sycophant to the Justice Department to be his yes man, turn DOJ into the Department of Protecting Donald Trump, fire Special Counsel Jack Smith, drop the election interference and stolen classified documents cases, and stop all future cases against Donald Trump because there will be crimes and corruption from him over the next four years. What we did not expect was that Trump would appoint someone who needs to protect himself from the law.

Matt Gaetz has been investigated by DOJ for sex trafficking minors. If he becomes AG, he will be able to destroy those files. The House Ethics Committee was prepared to release the findings of its investigation of Gaetz very soon (over sex trafficking with a minor and drug use), except he suddenly resigned from Congress. There’s still a question if they’ll still release those findings.

For Gaetz to resign from congress hours after Trump selected him to be his AG on a leash, he must be very confident he’ll become the next Attorney General, which is very interesting. Trump must have told him it’s happening and nothing can stop it. Will Trump demand the Senate take a short vacation so he can circumvent the Constitution and give Gaetz the job with a recess appointment? He’ll probably want to do that with other nominees too.

Traditionally, Gaetz would have to be confirmed by the Senate, which must approve all cabinet picks. Republicans will have a majority of 53 members in the next session, so, Gaetz should fly through easy-peezy, right? Not so fast. Matt Gaetz is probably hated by at least half of those senators. Gaetz is the guy who brought chaos to the House and led the charge to depose Kevin McCarthy as Speaker. Matt Gaetz is less popular among his fellow Republicans than Syphilis, Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Herpes, and that disease that makes your penis look like a foot, and Gaetz should know.

Donald Trump is testing the loyalty of the cult. Will any Republican senator, other than Susan Collins and Lisa Murkowski, risk angering Donald Trump?

Trump may also be testing the water for his other appointments, like those he selects because they look good on Fox and Friends and Putin's puppet Tulsi Gabbard, who he selected as Director of National Intelligence, which the Senate must confirm. And it’s not like his other picks are qualified either, like Marco Rubio as Secretary of State, Kristi Puppy Killer Noem as head of Homeland Security, or Lee Zeldin in charge of the Environmental Protection Agency. Rubio probably couldn’t find Canada if you pointed him north. If the Senate confirms Gaetz, then they’ll accept anybody. Gaetz as Attorney General is almost as ridiculous as Donald Trump being president.

What else would Gaetz do as AG? Would he cut the department he’s on record of hating? Would he shut down the FBI or turn it into the Trump Gestapo? Would he open investigations into every Trump enemy from Hillary Clinton down to pesky political cartoonists on Substack?

President Joe Biden promised he would not pardon his son, Hunter, but with Gaetz as a potential Attorney General, I’d forgive Joe if he broke that promise.

Trump was let down by Jeff Sessions when he was Attorney General because he did his job (once) and appointed a Special Counsel, Robert Mueller, to investigate his dealings with Russia. He fired Sessions for that despite him being a lackey lickspittle on most issues. His next AG was another lap dog but he still offered some resistance to Trump, like on his attempt to steal the 2020 election. Trump will have no issues with Matt Gaetz on doing any of his bidding. Gaetz still claims Trump won in 2020, hates the DOJ, and like Trump, is a sex offender. Trump can say of Gaetz like he said of Jeffrey Epstein, “He likes them young.”

Gaetz is a guy who keeps boxes of condoms, extra small, in his congressional office and has shown off nude pics on the House floor of young “women” he’s banged. He also has an unusually high forehead which doesn’t have anything to do with him being Attorney General, I just like pointing it out which is easy since it’s large enough to display the name of every woman who’s accused Trump of sexual abuse.

Historians argue over who the worst president is with Trump already among the bottom four. With actions like firing “woke” generals, appointing a Putin gal as head of DNI, and making Captain Forehead, who has very little legal experience, his AG, Trump’s really gunning for that bottom spot.

Trump is already the worst president (sic) we ever had. It’s horrifying that he’s trying to make his second administration (sic) even worse.

Drawn in 30 seconds:

Overview with a voiceover:

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