Cylinders of Elon

Elon's Department of Government Efficiency may get a bit sticky.

President-Elect (gag) Donald Trump has appointed Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy to head the Department of Government Efficiency. What’s that? It’s something they just made up but basically, it’s a body that’s to operate outside the government to find wasteful spending and then make recommendations to Trump on where to cut spending. If any of this sounds suspicious and sketchy to you, that’s because it is.

First, how efficient is it to appoint two bozos to head this new agency? Their first recommendation on cutting government inefficiency would be to fire one of these two fuckwits. And we thought it was bad to make Dumbo Secretary of State, RFK Jr health czar, and selecting a new Defense Secretary from Fox and Friends (someone tell Steve Doocy it wasn’t him). Wait, those are still bad.

The commission’s acronym, DOGE, is a nod to the meme-based cryptocurrency dogecoin, which Elon is connected to and has been referencing over the past several months while not just campaigning for Trump, but also for this new commission. The value of DOGE skyrocketed after Trump’s (gag) election victory. Why does Elon want to be involved with cutting spending so badly? More on that in a minute. Isn’t naming the commission after something that’ll make Elon richer a violation of the Emolument’s Clause? I’m sorry…I forgot we don’t care about those things anymore.

Trump said the commission is designed to cut regulations, reduce government staff, and “restructure” federal bodies. We haven’t received details yet, like most things with Trump, but we have some ideas. Usually, when shit like this comes up, it’s a cover for something nefarious and horrifying. For example, Trump’s upcoming executive order to purge “woke” generals is a cover to shitcan generals who will ignore unlawful orders, like deporting “vermin” and canceling all future presidential elections. Dispersing generals who may disagree with you is the first act of a fascist dictator—more on that in a future cartoon and blog.

This new "department” is a department in name only. Congress has to authorize new government departments, but “Advisory Board of Government Efficiency” makes a shitty acronym. So does Shitweasels Scheming to Enrich Themselves While Destroying Democracy. There are also questions about how this board will be funded. They have until next summer to issue a report to Trump, but something tells me that Elmo and Ramaswamadingdong already know what they want done away with.

Musk has said in the past that he wants to cut federal agencies from over 400 to 99. He also wants to cut federal spending by $2 trillion but you don’t cut federal spending by putting Republicans in office. Trump 1.0 added nearly $8 trillion to the national debt. If Elmo really wanted to cut spending, he would have been paying people to vote for Kamala Harris instead of Donald Trump.

Prediction: Trump 2.0 will add more than $8 trillion to the debt. If I’m wrong, then in 2029, I will owe you a Snickers.

If Elmo is dumb, then Vivek is dumber. He wants to eliminate the Education Department, the FBI, the IRS, and other government agencies, and limit the Federal Reserve. Vivek was Elmo’s second presidential endorsee after Ron DeSantis, and then he finally settled on Trump. Man, it’s so hard to find the right Republican to bribe these days.

Elon Musk’s companies have billions in contracts across 17 federal agencies. SpaceX dictates NASA’s rocket launch schedule and the Defense Department relies on him to get most of its satellites to orbit. SpaceX has nearly $15 billion in contracts with the federal government. Additionally, his companies have been targeted in at least 20 recent investigations or reviews, including over the safety of Tesla cars and the environmental damage caused by his rockets.

Golly gee willikers, but it would seem to me that someone who has contracts with the federal government would have a conflict of interest by serving on a board investigating government spending.

Maybe Elon could use these “reviews” to study his competitors’ contracts. Maybe cutting those could be some of his suggestions. Or, maybe he’ll suggest cuts to other programs and then shift more of that money to his companies. Or, maybe he’ll find there’s too much money being spent on investigating his companies. Or, maybe he’ll suggest getting rid of regulations, like on how his rockets affect the environment.

Elon spent over $200 million to help Trump win (gag) the election but he could earn billions with this “advisory” board. Do you really think Elon spent $200 million just because he cares about the future of this nation for his 28 kids (joke. He only has 11 or 12. We’re still investigating this)? Vivek, who only has two kids, is a billionaire too and could find ways for these “cuts” to benefit himself. He’s also a slimy sleazy lying conspiracy theorist with stupid hair and an extremely high forehead, like Elmo, which is a threat that some agencies will be cut based on huge MAGAt lies.

Forget all that. I’m sure everything is on the up and up and who’s to question the integrity of men like Vivek Ramaswamy, Elon Musk, and Donald Trump? Hey, I didn’t get a harumph out of that guy!

Creative note: This cartoon is a nod to one of my favorite TV shows, Community. The show is one of the most irreverent you can find and, its Instagram account has already commented on this cartoon, and one of the actors, Yvette Nicole Brown, follows and retweets me on X/Twitter.

Drawn in 30 seconds:

Timelapse with a voiceover:

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