Creepy Pete

How many creepers will be in the Trump administration (sic)?

A lot of people felt like being in the National Guard and a host on Fox News doesn’t qualify a person for being Secretary of Defense. But being a creeper who may have sexually assaulted a woman does make you qualify to work under Donald Trump. How many creepers will be a part of the Trump administration (sic)?

Pete Hegseth has been accused of committing sexual assault and he’s so innocent, that he paid the woman off to stop saying it.

Pete took a married woman to his room and according to her foggy recollection, he took her phone away from her (her husband was in the hotel looking for her), blocked her from leaving, and she recalls saying “no” a lot. She believes she may have been roofied.

Pete wouldn’t do that, would he? Eh.

Karoline Leavitt, Trump-Vance transition spokeswoman said in a statement: “This report corroborates what Mr. Hegseth's attorneys have said all along: the incident was fully investigated, and no charges were filed because police found the allegations to be false.”
Pete’s attorney said, “This police report confirms what I have said all along, that the incident was fully investigated and police found the allegations to be false, which is why no charges were filed.”

Except the police didn’t ever say the allegations were false. That’s a lie. They didn’t bring charges because they didn’t have enough evidence which could be a testament to the effects of being roofied.

The Monterey County (where all this shit happened) said in a statement the office declined to pursue the case in early 2018, after determining that “No charges were supported by proof beyond a reasonable doubt.” That is NOT saying the allegations were false. MAGAts are liars.

The woman identified as Jane Doe told an investigator that late one night, while in Pete’s room at a hotel that was hosting a Republican women's conference, he took her cellphone and “blocked the door with his body.”

In a text Jane Doe sent during the convention, possibly to her husband, she said, “He wears a ring on his pointer finger. It creeps me out.” That is creepy. Maybe Pete thought it went well with his dozens of Christian nationalism tattoos.

According to the report filed with the police, Jane Doe saw Pete “acting inappropriately,” rubbing women's legs, and “giving off a 'creeper' vibe,” according to the report. Well, what did you expect when he wore a ring on his pointy finger?

Guys, don’t touch women you don’t know or any women in general who hasn’t given you clearance to rub up on them. I see men do this all the time and even as a dude, it pisses me off. And just because she hasn’t told you to stop, she probably doesn’t like it.

Pete admits they had sex but it was consensual. Maybe Trump will give him another military medial for a woman consenting to have sex with him despite finding him creepy. Were there any gold chains involved? Also, rape is not sex. If she’s sleeping and you insert your penis inside her, you committed rape. if you’re doing other weird shit to her while she’s passed out, you’re committing sexual assault. Don’t do that. And if you’re wearing a ring on your pointy finger, every time you have sex is probably rape.

Jane Doe even had an argument with Pete about the way he was treating women at the convention and that’s when things got fuzzy for her. When Jane Doe woke up, she did not know where she was or how she got to Pete’s room. She woke up to find herself in a strange room with a creeper wearing a ring on his pointy finger.

One of Doe’s few memories of the night was when she was on a bed or a couch and Pete was on top of her and his dog tags were hovering over her face.

The police got involved after a Kaiser Permanente nurse called them to report a woman had come in requesting a sexual assault exam.

The 22-page police report includes input from at least three officers, beginning with the cop who handled the initial call to an investigator who followed up and spoke with Jane Doe, other women who were with her that night, hotel employees, and Pete himself.

One hotel employee asked them to stop arguing in the bar before they went back to his room. Pete argued that he has “freedom of speech” to act like a horny belligerent drunk.

The report concludes with a recommendation to forward the case to the Monterey County District Attorney's Office for review. It lists the potential criminal offense as “Rape: victim unconscious of the nature of the act.”

Usually when I draw a new personality, it takes me a while to get the caricature down and it will evolve over time but ya know…I don’t think I’m going to have that much time with Pete Hegseth.

If Pete does somehow become the Secretary of Defense, I’m afraid he and Trump will roofie America.

Drawn in 30 seconds:

Timelapse with a voiceover:

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