Comrade Cognitive Crazy

We really need to talk more about Trump's cognitive issues

I think Donald Trump just might know he’s a lunatic spouting word salad at his rallies. You know, when he strays from his teleprompter and talks about sharks and boat batteries, fictional cannibals, wind farms affecting bacon prices, etc, etc.

Trying to describe his incoherent ramblings as something brilliantly cohesive and strategic, Trump told rally goers in Pennsylvania who hadn’t fled to beat the traffic or fallen asleep yet, “I do the weave. You know what the weave is? I’ll talk about, like, nine different things that they all come back brilliantly together. And it’s like friends of mine that are like English professors, they say: ‘It’s the most brilliant thing I’ve ever seen.’”

Not only do I doubt history professors are telling Trump his incoherent ramblings are the “most brilliant thing they’ve ever seen,” I doubt he knows any history professors.

If Trump ever has a stroke at one of his hate rallies, I don’t know if anyone will notice.

Trump sounds like a drunk at a bar. “The cats scratching around in the the litter box and I said, ‘Hey, ya stupid cat…I said get me some ice cubes. if you think Juicy Juice is better than Sum 41.’ So the old lady looks at me and says, ‘Dak Prescott? I’m Dak Pescott,’ which surprises me because I thought I was Zeke Elliot going tubing in the Rappahannock River by god, and then I went on Jeopardy and they kicked me off for trying to spell ‘Cornelius’ with a ‘K’ saying it really starts with a ‘W’ like wow, that’s a big catfish you caught there I’ll tell you what and I don’t remember getting a cat.”

You don’t tell that guy that was the most brilliant thing you’ve ever seen.

If you take a transcript from a Trump speech and read it without audio, you will swear it was from a drunk…except Trump doesn’t drink. Quite frankly, Trump should tell people he does drink because that would be a better excuse than trying to describe his “weave” as something brilliant.

Do you know who does the “weave?” Drunk drivers.

I think half the country should tell us they’re drunk too because there has to be a reason why Donald Trump is within the margin of error against Kamala Harris in every poll.

I hope Tuesday’s night debate fixes that because if it doesn’t, I’m gonna go get drunk.

Nerd note: I’m going to say it took about two hours to letter this cartoon. That’s after I wrote it and created the guideline for the lettering. I was timing it but was thrown off when my buddy Gordon called wanting us to go out for beers, burgers, and football. So let’s say it took two hours. The lettering is excruciating. Watch the video.

Drawn in 30 seconds:

timelapse with a voiceove:

Signed prints: The signed prints are just $40.00 each. Every cartoon at Claytoonz is available. You can pay through PayPal. If you don’t like PayPal, you can snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Tales From The Trumpster Fire: I’m currently out of copies but I’ll restock my personal batch soon so you order your copy signed by me, for $45.00. You can pay through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402.

Knee-Deep In Mississippi: There are only ten copies left of my first book, published in 1997. These can be purchased for $40.00

Tip Jar: If you want to support the cartoonist, please donate through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com. You can also snail it to P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402