Coldplayed

Did CBS fire Stephen Colbert to appease Trump? Yes they did.

You’ve seen the clip, right? You have had to because it’s been memed to death, and some of those are hilarious. My favorite is the one of a girl caught cheating on her dog, or maybe it’s the one with the Philly Fanatic. So what’s this about? I know you’ve seen it. Even Proofer Laura, who is self-admittedly horrible at pop culture references, got the reference in the cartoon. As I wrote yesterday, she’s only seen Jaws once. The shame.

The clip has gone viral to the point that a new term has been created from it. Now, Coldplayed means being caught in an affair or an awkward situation in public. They didn’t just get Coldplayed, Coldplay pointed it out. You can’t get more Coldplayed than that. And if you’re a Coldplay fan, hey…they’re relevant again.

On the “kiss cam” at a Coldplay concert, a couple was apparently inadvertently outed. They were cuddling when the camera showed them hugging and squeezing on the Jumbo Tron.

The woman covers her face in horror, turns around, then leaves, and the man drops to the floor and out of sight completely. From the stage, lead singer Chris Martin said, "Ohhh, look at these two. Either they're having an affair or they're just very shy."

Or, they were ashamed to be caught at a Coldplay concert. I kinda like “Yellow,” and “The Scientist” is really good, but the rest of their stuff is mopey. It reminded me of the time I was caught at a Go-Gos’ concert by one of my heavy metal buddies.

The man has been identified as Andy Byron, the CEO of a software company named Astronomer, and the woman is the company's Chief People Officer (WTF is that?) Kristin Cabot. Byron is married, and not to Cabot. That’s where things get sticky. It’ll be even worse if his wife wanted to see Coldplay.

Byron has since resigned as CEO of Astronomer, and the board accepted, which issued a statement saying, “Our leaders are expected to set the standard in both conduct and accountability, and recently, that standard was not met. How dare our CEO be seen at a Coldplay concert.” I may have made up that last sentence.

Two guys who will be out of work are Andy Byron and Stephen Colbert. Did you like that segue?

In the second quarter of 2025, CBS’s The Late Show with Stephen Colbert had the most viewers in late-night TV, followed closely by ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel Live!, and NBC’s Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon coming in third (probably because Fallon sucks).

So, with Colbert ahead of Kimmel and Fallon, why is CBS killing his show? They’re not just firing Colbert, they’re getting rid of the Late Show entirely.

I’ve never been to The Late Show, filmed at the Ed Sulliver Theater, but I’ve been close.

This was in April 2023 when I went to NYC to cover Trump’s arrest in the city. I was headed to Penn Station to catch a train back to Virginia. I remember this well because I was standing in the middle of 53rd and Broadway to take this picture when a truck almost smeared. But then, Stephen Colbert came running out of the Ed Sullivan Theater, jumped between me and the truck, and lifted it with one arm as he held it above his head and said, “You’re safe, pedestrian. Now, go forth and remember to draw a cartoon about me someday in the fight against fascism. Also, this gives leeway to all late-night talk shows to steal your ideas. And they’ve been stealing them ever since. I might have invented the Stephen Colbert part, but not the part about stealing my jokes. If I see a CBS/Trump kiss cam on a talk show this week, I’m calling Trump’s lawyers. Scratch that. I’ll call a good lawyer.

In my defense about walking in front of a very large truck, it was in the morning, and I hadn’t had coffee yet.

Remember why The Late Show was created? When David Letterman wasn’t given The Tonight Show by NBC, CBS offered him a show and created one for him. That was kinda ballsy at the time because Letterman’s style of comedy was more irreverent than what you’d usually see on TV right after the evening news. At that time in the 80s and 90s, irreverent and weird was fine for later in the evening, while 10:30 was better for slower comedy. Leno was a better fit for lame, cheesy, and stale. It’s why Fallon has the Tonight Show today.

I look at political cartoonists the same way. I like to think I’m more Conan while other cartoonists, like Dave Granlund and Daryl Cagle, are Fallon. All the MAGAt cartoonists are Greg Gutfeld, because he’s not funny at all.

CBS says they’re ending the show for financial reasons and only financial reasons. If that’s the case, then they’re ahead of NBC and ABC in canceling their late-night shows, especially since they’re ahead of both in the ratings. You would think that if the major networks were going to cancel their late-night shows, it’d start with the worst in the ratings, NBC, and not the best, CBS.

If I were a cynical person, and I am, I would probably be suspicious about this. And I am.

Recently, CBS settled a lawsuit with Donald Trump. It was a bogus bullshit lawsuit that was extremely stupid. Trump sued CBS for a 60 Minutes interview with Kamala Harris. Trump was not in the interview, and Harris didn’t say anything libelous about Trump. Trump sued because he didn’t like the way the interview was edited, and he thought the editing was an attempt to hurt him. Does that sound like he had a case? Of course not. CBS was going to fight it and watch it be laughed out of court, and it would have been. The only kink in the plan is that CBS, owned by Paramount, wants to sell to a company called Skydance. These kinds of mergers and sales of big media companies have to be approved by the Federal Communications Commission. Of course, the head of the FCC is appointed by the president (sic).

So, Paramount settled Trump’s lawsuit, which they could have easily won, for $16 million. And just like the other lawsuit settlements with Trump from ABC, Facebook, and X/Twitter, this one is a big fat bribe. A “big fat bribe” is also how Stephen Colbert referred to it, which he said on air, coincidentally between the settlement and CBS canceling his show.

Isn’t it funny that all those bogus settlements came AFTER Trump “won’ the election. It’s almost like they were waiting to see if they’d have to settle ridiculous lawsuits, or if they could say, “Go to hell. We’ll see you in court, Fucknut.” But it’d be very cynical to see something suspicious about that, wouldn’t it?

By the way, the settlement, $16 million, is about what CBS pays Stephen Colbert a year.

Did Donald Trump demand that Paramount fire Stephen Colbert? Was it part of the settlement, but only a verbal agreement? Wink-wink, nudge-nudge, fire-fire, Colbert-Colbert? Or, did Paamount fire Colbert and obey Trump in advance? Did Paramount fire Colbert to obtain Trump’s good graces so his FCC would approve the deal with Skydance? It’s obvious that’s what Paramount bribed Trump for, or maybe I am too cynical.

Hopefully, Colbert lands with another show, but it won’t be a return to Comedy Central because they’re owned by Paramount as well. That makes me fear for Jon Stewart and The Daily Show.

CBS and Trump have not been Coldplayed. Their affair is kind of out in the open, and it doesn’t surprise anyone. It’s more disgusting than an affair with the Philly Fanatic.

Creative note: As I saw more and more memes about this kiss cam, I knew I had to incorporate it into a cartoon. But I didn’t have to change my plans because I was already aiming to do today’s cartoon on Colbert. We’ll see more cartoons on this tomorrow and Tuesday.

Music note: I listened to Jimi Hendrix while coloring this.

Drawn in 30 seconds:

Timelapse:

Support your local cartoonist: If you want to support the cartoonist, please donate through PayPal to clayjonz@gmail.com, Venmo to clay-jones-87, or snail mail it to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. All support is appreciated.

Signed prints: Each signed print costs $40.00. Every cartoon at Claytoonz is available. Payment is accepted through PayPal, Venmo (clay-jones-87), or snail mail to Clay Jones, P.O. Box 3721, Fredericksburg, VA 22402. Add to the note what you’re purchasing.

Tales From The Trumpster Fire: Signed copies of my second book are $50 and available only through me. I currently have three copies in my personal stash. Tell me what you’re buying in the note.

Knee-Deep In Mississippi: There are only seven copies left of my first book, published in 1997. They can be purchased for $40.00. Add to the note what you’re purchasing.

Merch: Did you know there’s a Claytoonz store? My cartoons are printed on mugs, clothing, caps, and even a Peezy T-shirt. If you ever want a specific cartoon on some merch, let me know, and I’ll add it.