Cheeto Benito

Cheetos and Cheatahs

On Tuesday, the Department of Health and Human Services and the Food and Drug Administration announced a series of measures to phase out eight artificial food dyes and colorings from America's food supply by the end of next year. Get ready for boring Cheetos.

RFK Jr, the nation’s laughingstock of a Health Secretary, said, to a crowd of “Make America Health Again” supporters (that’s a thing?), “I just want to urge all of you, it's not the time to stop; it's the time to redouble your efforts, because we have them on the run now, and we are going to win this battle.” Who do we have on the run? Food colorers? The Easter Bunny? He also said, “And four years from now, we're going to have most of these products off the market, or you will know about them when you go to the grocery store.”

Are they sure that brain worm is dead?

FDA Commissioner Dr. Marty Makary said the agencies are looking to revoke authorization for two synthetic food colorings and to work with the food industry to eliminate six remaining synthetic dyes used in cereal, ice cream, snacks, yogurts, and more. They’re going to fuck up ice cream.

He said, “Today, the FDA is taking action to remove petroleum-based food dyes from the U.S. food supply and medications. For the last 50 years, American children have increasingly been living in a toxic soup of synthetic chemicals.”

Now get this. These bans will be voluntary with the food companies. RFK Jr. said, “We don't have an agreement; we have an understanding.” Good luck with that, Mr. Wormy Bear Killer.

The food companies would like an agreement, and that is for there to be one federal regulation on food dyes, and regulations from every state. Remember state rights? That will be the case for abortions but not for the color in Cheetos.

Chicago, day two:

I had a few hours to kill before the game yesterday, so I went looking for the Bean.

I found it. It is very reflective.

And I shot a few more pictures.

You probably know the building in the background, which used to be called the John Hancock Tower. It’s just a few blocks from my hotel on Michigan Ave. I think I had dinner with my then-wife and her brother there many years ago (or it was the Sears Tower). I can’t remember.

Feel free to vomit.

This castle-looking this is the Water Tower and is one of the few buildings in this area to survive the Chicago Fire. I can see it from my hotel room.

This is across the street from it.

And then I got on the L to the station. The train was a big packed.

But I made it.

Despite using this as his home address, I couldn’t find Elwood anywhere.

But I found these guys and shared some peanuts with them from my seat.

And this was my view.

And here are the rooftop bleachers, across the street from the outfield.

And the Wrigley fire station.

Wrigley is one of those special places for me, kinda like the Cavern in Liverpool. My mother took me to a game at Wrigley when I was a little kid. We lived in Elgin until the summer after second grade, and then I was forced to live in Louisiana. It was super cool of my mom to do that for me (taking me to Wrigley, not Louisiana), as she knew I loved the Cubs. I was a Cubs fan even before I knew there were other teams. My grandparents were visiting from Louisiana, so they were there, as well as Robin, my older sister. I don’t remember if Jimmy, my older brother, was there. These memories are all hazy.

I went back to Wrigley in ‘95, and that time I took my wife, Chelle. I texted her some of these photos last night. I also texted her photos from the Cavern. Thanks to me, the Cubs and Beatles are still her favorite teams.

By the way, the Cubs beat the Dodgers with a walk-off in the 10th inning.

And then I went back downtown.

And I found Rossi’s.

It’s a dive bar and I liked it, but I’m not going back. A lady kept looking at me, so I scooched down to talk to her, and she scooched toward me as well, and she was plastered, which might be why she was looking at me. I talked to her for a while. She asked for my name and said it was horrible. She even laughed and fell off her seat. But then the bartender got mad at me for talking to her, as though I was going to take advantage of a drunk girl. So I told the bartender I didn’t want her to “worry” about me, as she said I was the one she was worried about, so I up and split. I don’t need that hot mess in my life. But the drunk girl did say I was “adorable” multiple times. Did I mention she was drunk?

But before that, I stopped at Billy Goat to get another “cheezeborger,” because I only had a hot dog at the game. And who did I meet at Billy Goat? I met someone from the Chicago Tribune. We talked for a while about journalism, he told me some stories, and how he hates the work of the Tribune’s cartoonist.

I still haven’t had any merlot.

Creative note: I’ve drawn RFK Jr. plenty enough, but not enough for me to draw him without using references, like photos and my past caricatures of him. I always feel I’m starting from scratch. So I was honored when proofer Hilary told me my RFK Jr. was “excellent.”

This cartoon was drawn in the Starbucks I drew in yesterday.

This blog was written in the hotel lobby/bar. I wasn’t drinking.

Music note: I listened to Live again, mostly to drown out the woman in Starbucks using her speakerphone.

Drawn in 30 seconds:

Timelapse:

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