Burn, Baby, Burn
Is a Tesla fire at a Trump Hotel a metaphor for the next four years?
When I first heard of the cybertruck exploding in front of Donald Trump’s shitty hotel in Las Vegas, I didn't immediately think it was intentional. I just thought it was your typical daily exploding Tesla.
As it turns out, it was intentional and carried out by an Army master sergeant who had been on leave from active duty. We still don’t know if the rental vehicle of choice being one of Elmo’s cars was to make a statement or not, but I have more info to believe it was than Large Marge has to believe the terrorist attack in New Orleans was connected to this incident.
I also have information to believe this is a great metaphor for the next four years. But, if Trump can last four years in office, then Elon will not. Do you actually believe those two egos can coexist for four years? Elon was never a Trumper until around July 2024.
Elon went from being an Independent promising he’d never politicize X/Twitter to being a remora on Ron DeSantis’ ass to trying to get that taste out of his mouth by sucking Ramaswamy’s nuts to trying to get that taste out of his mouth by crawling up Trump’s ass where he remains to this day. Elon will eventually distance himself from Trump but that stench can’t even be drowned by Trump Cologne.
Elon sent out a statement after the explosion, not to express sorrow, not promising to cooperate with the investigation, not to post “Las Vegas Strong,” not to check on the safety and well-being of the seven people who suffered minor injuries, and not even to blame Democrats. He only tweeted/X’ed/Shitted to assure us that it wasn’t a technical malfunction or Tesla’s fault as it usually is. Whew, thanks, Elon.
Perhaps the master sergeant wasn’t trying to send a message through Tesla and only chose the cybertruck because those things are apparently very easy to light up. Detectives say the trunk was full of fireworks and cannisters of gasoline, which is less flammable than Trump Cologne.
Detectives are still investigating how the master sergeant activated the explosives so we could all have a Tesla weenie roast, but my guess is it was matches…while wearing Trump Cologne.
The sheriff said there was “no further threat to the community,” unless the community is wearing Trump Cologne.
There is still a constant threat on the Las Vegas strip of marauding grifters approaching tourists saying, “Hey, man…Hey, man. Where ya from? Where ya from? I’m a celebrity selling autographs to support the kids.” All signs point to these “famous” grifters as graduates from Trump University.
If you visit the Strip, you will usually smell them coming because they’ll be wearing Trump Cologne.
Dear Mona: I got your card and donation. You rock! I’m sorry it took me so long to get it but you’re aware of the post office situation here. BRUTAL! But send me an email and tell me which signed print you want. I appreciate your support.
Dear Deb and Wing: I just got your card. You rock! I’m sorry it took so long for me to get it but my post office was damaged by a fire. Thanks for the cocktail.
Dear Bob: I just got your card. You rock! Sorry I’m now getting it but the USPS sucks big green donkey nuts.
Dear Karen: I just got your card. You rock! Hey, have you heard about my post office situation?
Creative note: I got this idea on the train home yesterday. As soon as I saw the headline, I got my idea. I was concerned the quickness of the idea coming to me meant it was too obvious, and maybe it is. I expect others to do the concept but not this idea. Sometimes, you say “fuck it.” Today, a friend told me he knew I’d make a cartoon about this issue. Well, duh.
Music note: I listened to Beck.
Drawn In 30 seconds:
Timelapse:
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EWW, a remora on Ron DeSantis’ ass makes a puss infected bag of dripping scum look like an reasonable appetizer.
Don't worry Clay, I'm sure FAUX will explain it all away as "lone crazy guy" in a day or two.
Myself, I'd bet he was flipping out over the MAGA H1-B war, and that sent him over the edge. Odds that's what will turn up are certainly better than 50-50. Not a sure thing, but good odds. Though I wouldn't bet on the WP or the NYT reporting it.
Between Trump, Musk, Bannon, Loomer and Ramaswamy, we're going to have a really wild ride for the next four years. I expect we'll become as numb to "explosion outside XXXX billionaire property" as we are to mass shootings. (Psst - getting close to two a day now! We're #1!)
Voting for something, then having the pol not say "it's gonna be hard to do this" but saying "I lied, I'm doing the exact opposite", as Trump did on H1-B's and H2-B's is just asking for it after riling up people as he's done for the last ten years.
And no, I don't think these gigantic egos can coexist for very long. Not even for the chance of tapping more money out of Musk. I'd give it no longer than July of 2026.