Bribed In 60 Minutes

News outlets are supposed to expose corruption, not engage in it

The headline at Fox News blasted, “Paramount, CBS forced to pay eight figures, change editorial policy in settlement with President Trump.” Forced? Would Fox News use the word “forced” when they settled a lawsuit with Dominion for over $787 million? You may feel forced, but a settlement is a choice. It’s a choice not to go any further into a trial and shut that shit down, for whatever reasons. And yes, CBS has changed its editorial policy, which is that anytime Trump comes for a bribe, you pay it.

Usually, when someone settles a lawsuit, they’re trying to get off cheaper as they fear the result of the trial will cost them more. In Fox News’ case with Dominion, they were afraid the verdict in a trial would bankrupt them. They were guilty of spreading misinformation that they knew were lies. It’s why Tucker’s no longer on their payroll.

When CNN and the Washington Post settled with teenage Trumper Nicholas Sandmann, one of those smirky, obnoxious, entitled white privileged Catholic Covington kids who was in the center of a viral video controversy with an elderly Native American, they didn’t settle because they were guilty. They settled for what legal experts estimate to be a small portion of the $275 million they were sued for, in order to save on lawyer fees. They weren’t afraid of losing the trial because it had already been dismissed once, but felt they’d pay more to their lawyers than to the little asshole whose feelings got hurt. I hope the ugly little entitled priviliged fuck isn’t feeling too litigious today.

When Disney settled a lawsuit with Trump earlier last December, who sued because ABC news anchor George Stephanopoulos said Trump was “liable for rape,” it wasn’t because they were guilty of anything other than hurting TACO’s feelings because Stephanopoulos was technically correct. Disney, ABC’s parent company, settled because the judge was scary and said in her denial to dismiss that “a reasonable jury could interpret Stephanopoulos’s statements as defamatory,” despite the fact that Donald Trump is a rapist who also liked to pal around with rapists while also endorsing pedophiles for the United States Senate. Also, Trump put Alexander Acosta in his first cabinet. He was the prosecutor who saved Epstein from a criminal trial.

When Meta settled a lawsuit with Trump in January, it was to bribe Trump. Trump sued Meta for banning him from its platforms, Facebook and Instagram, in 2020 after his election denial and white nationalist terrorist insurrection attempt. Trump told Mark Zuckerberg that he would have to settle the lawsuit before he could be “brought into the tent.” I don’t think he’s talking the kind of tent migrants will be forced to sleep in at Alligator Alcatraz, but the MAGA tent. The settlement was for $25 million, and it was a bribe.

Even Elon settled a lawsuit with Trump, and was also to bribe Trump. As if the $275 million Elon paid to elect him wasn’t enough. Like with Meta, Trump sued Twitter for banning him, citing that his First Amendment rights were violated. A federal court in California tossed the case, saying only the government can deny First Amendment rights, not corporations. But Trump’s team took it to an appeals court, which was skeptical. Elon settled with Trump for $10 million. Why would you settle when you already won? Because it’s a bribe.

Also, do you like the irony of Trump claiming his First Amendment rights were violated, and now he’s trying to deport people for protesting?

CBS is owned by Paramount, and it has a big merger coming up with Skydance Media. Mergers like this need federal approval, and it sure would help if the president approves.

Trump will receive $16 million from Paramount, which will cover legal fees, costs of the case, and contributions to his future presidential library or charitable causes, to be determined at Trump’s discretion. Several of the other settled lawsuits will also go to the fake library.

This is fucked up because Trump is going to use the library to grift, and the guy has a history of using a fake charity to take gifts. In fact, he’s barred from operating a charity in the state of New York because of this. Back when Trump did that stint with the wrestling company WWE, they paid him by donating to his charity, the Trump Foundation. That way, neither Trump nor the WWE had to pay taxes on it, and WWE could even claim it as a deduction. Trump had a habit of spending the foundation’s money on personal bullshit. He even used the foundation’s money to donate to Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi to stop her from suing Trump University. Today, Bondi is the nation’s attorney general, and Linda McMahon, former CEO of WWE, is the Secretary of Education. Pay attention, amateurs. This is how the pros do corruption. Trump paid a bribe with his fake charity to save his fake university. And unlike the Clintons, Trump never put his own money into his charity.

Now, CBS is giving Trump money to disperse to charitable causes “at his discretion?” Trump can create a new charity in Florida and donate it all to that, from which he’ll grift again. Florida will never hold him accountable. Some Republicans in the state legislature proposed paying his legal fees. Seriously.

No judge should sign off on a settlement with Trump where part of the deal is that Trump can donate to charities of his choice. It’s negligent of a judge not to factor in Trump’s history of grifting his charity, unless those judges believe Trump needed portraits of himself more than kids need help fighting cancer.

A spokesgoon for the Trump legal team said, “With this record settlement, President Donald J. Trump delivers another win for the American people as he, once again, holds the Fake News media accountable for their wrongdoing and deceit. CBS and Paramount Global realized the strength of this historic case and had no choice but to settle. President Trump will always ensure that no one gets away with lying to the American People as he continues on his singular mission to Make America Great Again.”

No, you idiot. CBS and Paramount Global realized that they could bribe the president (sic) and get their merger. $16 million is a pittance in the grand scheme of their merger.

Our news outlets are failing us.

This is the kind of shit that makes me want to throw my arms up in the air, give up on this country, and flee to Canada, France, Ireland, Narnia, or to wherever I’ll be accepted. I can’t trust voters because about half of them made this man president (sic) because they’re racists. I can’t trust our government anymore because it’s turning into a fascist state, and one of our political parties is now a cult. I can’t trust our courts because they’re bending over for him. I can’t trust Congress because it’s refusing to hold Trump accountable, and they’re giving him everything he wants. Now, I can’t trust our media because when it comes to exposing corruption or engaging in it to uphold their bottom line, they choose corruption. And all this corruption, from gifts of airplanes and corporate payoffs, is all taking place out in the open.

Remember when Republicans were outraged that there was an email from 2017, when Joe Biden wasn’t in office, that said “ten percent for the Big Guy,” and they all lost their shit over it? Now, Trump is openly in the golf business with Saudi Arabia. Where are the cries of corruption from the people who yelled “Biden Crime Family” for four years?

One of these news outlets should have said “damn the torpedoes,” and stood up to Trump just for the fucking principle of it. So far, Gannett (of all places) seems to be doing that because they have not capitulated yet, as Trump is suing them for publishing a poll in the Des Moines Register, which had Trump trailing Harris. Trump said that publishing the poll was “election interference.”

Do you think it’s nuts to sue a news outlet for publishing facts? For publishing research? Sure, facts are very inconvenient to MAGAts, but “election interference?” That’s what he sued CBS for, as 60 Minutes edited an interview with Kamala Harris. Trump claimed it was “election interference,” but it was for time constraints. Part of what they edited out was a conversation about her hay fever. Maybe more people would have voted for Trump if they knew Harris had hay fever.

Our journalism outlets are supposed to hold Trump accountable and expose corruption, not roll over and bribe him.

Hey, the fourth season of Resident Alien recently started, and in the very first episode, we get to hear Harry say, “This is some bullshit!”

I’m home: And I am tired. I don’t have another trip planned until this September, and that’s just a convention in the Washington, DC, suburbs of Maryland.

Creative note: I wrote the blog at Wegman’s after eating a shrimp tempura roll.

Music note: I listened to Alice Cooper, and I “got no friends because they read the paper.”

Drawn in 30 seconds:

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