Bankrupt MAGA Shirts

Wanna buy some anti-Biden shirts...cheap?

For only ten bucks, you too can look like an asshole. At least that’s the message I got from all the T-shirt vendors on the last day of the Republican National Convention in Milwaukee.

The first T-shirt vendor I encountered at the convention was selling shirts with the image of Trump with his fist in the air after the Butler (PA) assassination attempt, which I had predicted in a cartoon (not the attempt, but the T-shirts).

See?

So I asked these T-Shirt fuckers if I could take their picture and they said yes (even though I don’t need their permission. I like to be polite). The nice lady at the stand tried to give me her card for her online shop but I declined. She asked why I would want to take a picture if I wasn’t interested in their product. I was honest and told her I just wanted proof that they were milking the assassination attempt for cash. She didn’t like that but did wish me a “blessed” day, which is funny coming from a so-called Christian who supports the pussy-grabbing candidate.

But as I walked along the sidewalk closest to the forbidden convention zone which was surrounded by six miles of fence and out-of-state cops ready to shoot local homeless black guys, I came across Madison Cawthorn, a smoking John Boehner (not as in smoking hot, but smoking cigarettes), an N-word spewing MAGAt, Religious zealots, a couple of hilarious Satanists, other assorted MAGAts, and T-Shirt vendors out the wazoo. Some guy was even selling $20 boxes of Trump cereal which he said was basically repacked Captain Crunch. The T-shirts were going for $20 and up.

On the last day of the convention, all the prices for this crap were cut in half. Even the cereal guy had cut the price for his Hater Oats down to ten bucks. These people had bought all their inventory to sell at the convention and it’s probably the only place they could sell it. I’m sure the Trump people don’t allow independent sellers to hawk their stuff at his hate rallies and compete against his own shitty merch, and it’s not like they’ll be able to sell any next month in Chicago…so all the crap had to go in Milwaukee, where none of the locals are gonna buy it.

What they should have done was stand in front of the airport the next day with it and sell it to all the MAGAts leaving town. Did I mention that my flight was infested with MAGAts?

But if you think they’re having a hard time selling their pro-Trump merch, then imagine how difficult it’ll be to sell their anti-Biden shit? They invested in a lot of merch that will never sell. And the Trump Campaign was caught flat-footed with them.

The Trump Campaign is now scrambling to race against Vice President Kamala Harris after spending the last four years (Trump never stopped campaigning) preparing for President Joe Biden.

Over the past four years, they’ve been selling that Biden is corrupt, his son is a criminal, and they’re perverts and drug addicts. They’ve been telling us that Biden’s old, sleepy, demented, and in cognitive decline. They built their entire campaign around this messaging. They’ve spent millions on ads attacking Biden and then, right after they spend their entire convention attacking Joe, they get Kamala.

Right now, the GOP would like to re-do their entire convention. Hell, if they knew Kamala was going to be the candidate, then Trump probably wouldn’t have picked V.D. Vance (sorry, J.D.) to be his running mate. He’d probably would have chosen Tim Scott or at least a white guy with a tan.

Trump is so upset that he’s now demanding the Democratic Party reimburse his campaign for all their attack ads lying about Joe Biden.

Right now, all the campaign has on Kamala Harris is that she laughs. They like to call it “cackling,” which is sexist. But sexism is one of the directions they’re going in. Republican congressman Tim Burchett has called her hiring a “DEI” hire, even though Vice President Harris was elected.

Republicans are developing talking points to use against Harris, which include her positions on “decriminalizing” border crossing, eliminating cash bail, her self-proclaimed love of Venn diagrams, her desire to replace all plastic straws with paper straws, and the way she laughs. You know, because Republicans don’t laugh unless it’s about putting children in cages or taking away Grandma’s Social Security.

Other plans include claiming she used sex to advance in politics, never mind that Melania never would have married Donald Trump if he was a hobo or that he has five kids with three different women, all of whom he’s cheated on. And she’s married to a Jewish guy which I’m sure the GOP will refuse to go full-on antisemitic with (if you’re new here, that’s sarcasm).

Last week, Republicans were talking about an electoral landslide, and today, the landslide is in their diapers.

Hey, they could sell Trump Diapers.

See a typo? Yeah, I do that. Feel free to send me the correction by emailing me at clayjonz@gmail.com. And if it’s not too much trouble, tell me the paragraph number it’s in so I don’t have to reread my own shit for a fourth time.

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Drawn in 30 seconds:

Here’s the longer version of me drawing the cartoon, and with a voiceover.